Fucking Nerds!

So, I'm not entirely unfamiliar with nerds, and their various strata & behavior.  I'm aware that there exists a class of nerd that likes to dress up and pretend the times are ancient, or possibly just a couple hundred years old.  I know even, that organizations exist for these sweaty malcontents, organizations like the Society for Creative Anachronism.  I'm also all too painfully aware that some nerds are female, which is all the sadder.  But it kinda rocked my world to find out that the Live Action Role Playing community, which is comprised of gatherings of nerds who get together and do things like this have official awards called the Larpies.  Once I found out, however, I hastened forthwith, as mocking these particular types of nerds delights me to almost no end.  Even at my lowest "high school loser, no girl's ever gonna speak to you, who taught you to throw a baseball like that" days, I never once considered putting on fake medieval garb and pretending I was slaying orcs with a group of likeminded adults. 

So, long story short, the first award I clicked on was "Best Looking Female Larper", and the sad reality dawned.  This woman, dressed as some human/cat hybrid was not only kinda hot, she was, in fact, out of my league.  If I was single & hit on her, she would most likely reject me, even if I too was wearing my sexy cat outfit.  Worse yet, based on personal experience, I've gotta say that nerd chicks seem to have a consistently high flounder index.*  So now, this site I go to with the intention of making myself feel better at the expense of a bunch of anonymous nerds has in fact reinforced a cold truth, even LARPers can be out of my league.  Sigh…

*Flounder index: a score, from 0 to 100, based on the response you would get if, during sex, you indicated an interest in spanking your partner's bare ass with a flounder.  A partner with a score of Zero claws your eyes and leaves, never to speak to you again, a score of 100 has the flounder waiting next to the bed, just in case.