I’m not normally aroused by corpses
June 21, 2007So, in the past I used to write about wacky news stories like the septugenarian hitwomen, or the bear that was tree’d by a New Jersey housecat, etc, but I’ve been trying not to do that anymore, since there are just so many of them that it’s kind of a waste of time, and what can you really say about these kinds of things that isn’t readily apparent in the story? But I admit, I’m fascinated by this story of the couple found naked & dead at the foot of an office building, with their clothing up on the roof top several stories above. Currently police are operating under the theory that the couple, in their early 20s, were having outdoor sex on the roof and rolled off to their doom - no foul play is suspected. But really, if I wanted to kill a guy in his early 20s, isn’t this just about the best possible way to do it?
After all, who among us didn’t risk their life for sex when they were in their twenties, either in the big picture via an unprotected poking, or more immediately, via sex while driving or sex on a conveyor belt that was feeding a giant shredder or sex at the end of the gun shooting range? That’s right, none of us. Which is why this is THE PERFECT CRIME.
The weirder thing is, though, that when you look past the crushed remains of bones & sinew at the foot of the building, there’s something weirdly sexy about the whole scene. I mean, we’ve all gotta die, right? But these two died about three seconds after the wildest funnest times they’d had recently. True, those last three seconds really sucked, but it beats dying after nine months on a ventilator when you’re 87 years old and everyone you know has passed on. I’m just glad I wasn’t the coroner, frankly, because the unsexy part of the story, the whole mashed bloodied corpses part? I bet coroners get totally used to that. So if I was the coroner, I wouldn’t even be grossed out by the human remains, and I would be unable to avoid focusing 100% of my attention on the “sex” part of the story. So when the crime scene investigators got there and saw me masturbating, I’d probably have a lot of explaining to do.
I’m guessing that had you been working longer than say, a week, they’d be used to it.
CSI: XXX
Cop #1: “Hey, why’s the chalk outline all sticky?”
Cop #2: “Jonson. It’s that… that… thing that he investigates.”
I sooo have nothing to contribute to this thread.
Interesting, they ruled out “Foul Play”. What I want to know is, did the woman hit face first and the man’s head was thrust into the back of her head, with his hand full of a lock of her hair? Or were their heads found shoved up each others…..