Archive for October, 2007

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Fate vs Chance

October 14, 2007

I’ll always remember the night I proposed to my wife.  May 31st, 2000.  Earlier today I watched Near Dark, mostly notable for starring the actor Adrian Pasdar (”Nathan Patrelli” on Heroes) in an early role.  On May 31st, 2000 my friend Jason asked me and a couple friends out to drinks at Q’s, a pool hall on Wilshire in West L.A., but I couldn’t attend, because I had plans to take out my girlfriend & ask her to marry me.  That night Eric Red, the guy who wrote the movie Near Dark (and also the Rutger Hauer/C. Thomas Howell movie “The Hitcher”) tried to commit suicide by driving his car through the front window of Q’s, killing two people.  One of the victims had their skull crushed against Jason’s hip, shattering it & earning him months in traction & a lifelong fear of dining at the window table of any restaurant. 

I think it’s human nature to focus on the times when things don’t go right for us; why did I choose one route home over another & thus get caught in a speed trap? if only I had stayed later or left earlier or said this or gone there things would be different and my troubles would be less.  But of all the universe of possibilities out there, it’s rare we get a direct glimpse into a “there but for the grace of God go I” situation.  I’m not sure I would have been killed or even injured if I’d been at Q’s that evening, but all things considered, I’m glad I wasn’t.

Amusingly enough, when I mentioned this story to a friend who doesn’t live here, their reaction was “Wow. Los Angeles is so full of celebrities that you can’t sit at a bar without having one come crashing through the window in their car.”

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links for 2007-10-12

October 11, 2007
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That Is Not Appropriate Workplace Conversation

October 10, 2007

At work we have a break room with some video games in it, which can lead to productive exchanges such as the following:

Me: [9th consecutive videogame based taunt to co-worker]

Co-worker: Man, you’re really asking to choke on a large cock.

Me: I’m not sure I’m asking for that.

CW: Well, it’s what you’re going to get, once I find one.

Me: You’re saying you don’t have a large cock?

CW: Not large enough for what I have in mind.

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Things I Learned At The Newsstand

October 7, 2007

There are enough professional bull riders to support a magazine dedicated to them.

The market for magazines targeted at men who want near porn but not actual porn is not satiated by Maxim, Stuff, FHM, etc:

If you are a dude who likes masturbating to photos of men but you can’t bring yourself to buy full-on gay porn, there is a magazine for you:

If you are retired from the high-stakes world of international espionage but would like to keep up on the industry news, there is a magazine for you:

If you are a serious cheerleader or merely a cheerleader enthusiast/pedophile, there is a magazine for you:

Missing from this collection are two of my favorite obscure magazines, “Varmint Hunter Magazine” (click here to see a selection of the funniest cartoons taken from the magazine) and “Women & Guns Magazine,” which is just awesome.  Women & Guns magazine is very similar to American Cheerleader in that the publication serves both the genuinely interested & the skulking masturbator crowd in one edition.  As a proponent of reduced consumption, it’s delightful to me when one print edition can appeal to two audiences so efficiently.

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links for 2007-10-05

October 4, 2007