A couple hours later, and I’m already the #3 result in Google for “Sexy Gambling,” ahead of even sexy-gambling.com, which has got to be very embarassing for the people in charge of their search engine optimization. Nice try, sexy-gambling.com, but you failed to write enough blog entries about being raped by bears, and that’s why I win. Advantage, Jonson!
According to the Wikipedia, Restless Leg Syndrome “is a condition that is characterised by an irresistible urge to move one’s legs” which sounds like something I’d normally make fun of if it weren’t for the fact that I’m busy making fun of the cure for Restless Leg Syndrome.
Apparently you can bring much needed rest to your lower appendages through a steady diet of Requip, a drug whose side effects are as bizarre as the Syndrome they cure. From the Requip site: Also tell your doctor if you experience new or increased gambling, sexual, or other intense urges while taking Requip. WTF? The cure for the jimmylegs makes you want to fuck & gamble? I’m worried someone has been putting Requip in my Diet Pepsi, cause I spend 92% of my waking thoughts on sex and gambling, and most of my dreams are sexy gambling dreams.
I may be on to something here. I wonder if my body naturally manufactures the Requip endorphins, which is why my legs are naturally so non-jittery and also why I sexy gamble* so much.
*sexy gambling is a new term I have made up, covering a broad spectrum of activities that I cannot go into on a public forum.
