I’m gonna fuck this blog like it stole something*

If it’s true what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder, then avert your eyes ’cause I am about to make sweet, sweet love to the jonsonblog “New Post” button.

Yeah baby, you know how I like it, you little wordpress hussy, with your permalinks & tagging system.  Are you flirting with me?  Because the time for flirting is over, it’s time to knock one out right here on the desktop.  Oh… Oh God… whoa…  Sorry.  THAT’S never happened before, I promise you.  No, I swear, normally I can get my underwear all the way off before I come.  I think I was just a little overexcited because it had been so long and you look so good tonight baby. 

Tell you what, my recharge time isn’t what it once was back in the day, when the jonsonblog was new & getting more frequent (and saucier) updates.  I’m older, I’ve had a kid, things are slowing down for me.  But if you give me like three hours and spend the whole time talking increasingly dirtier, I’m pretty sure I’ll be good to go again.  I’m gonna just lie here & have a little nap… so sleepy… sooooo sleeeepy… zzzzzzzzzzzz.

*The title of this post lifted from an old friend, who once said of his girlfriend, as she returned from vacation “I’m gonna fuck her like she stole something!,” a phrase which has stuck with me over the years.