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Fucking Nerds!

May 3, 2006

So, I'm not entirely unfamiliar with nerds, and their various strata & behavior.  I'm aware that there exists a class of nerd that likes to dress up and pretend the times are ancient, or possibly just a couple hundred years old.  I know even, that organizations exist for these sweaty malcontents, organizations like the Society for Creative Anachronism.  I'm also all too painfully aware that some nerds are female, which is all the sadder.  But it kinda rocked my world to find out that the Live Action Role Playing community, which is comprised of gatherings of nerds who get together and do things like this have official awards called the Larpies.  Once I found out, however, I hastened forthwith, as mocking these particular types of nerds delights me to almost no end.  Even at my lowest "high school loser, no girl's ever gonna speak to you, who taught you to throw a baseball like that" days, I never once considered putting on fake medieval garb and pretending I was slaying orcs with a group of likeminded adults. 

So, long story short, the first award I clicked on was "Best Looking Female Larper", and the sad reality dawned.  This woman, dressed as some human/cat hybrid was not only kinda hot, she was, in fact, out of my league.  If I was single & hit on her, she would most likely reject me, even if I too was wearing my sexy cat outfit.  Worse yet, based on personal experience, I've gotta say that nerd chicks seem to have a consistently high flounder index.*  So now, this site I go to with the intention of making myself feel better at the expense of a bunch of anonymous nerds has in fact reinforced a cold truth, even LARPers can be out of my league.  Sigh…

*Flounder index: a score, from 0 to 100, based on the response you would get if, during sex, you indicated an interest in spanking your partner's bare ass with a flounder.  A partner with a score of Zero claws your eyes and leaves, never to speak to you again, a score of 100 has the flounder waiting next to the bed, just in case.

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11 comments

  1. The video you linked was funny,(I love the clapping at the end) but I’d really like to see a clip of those same guys attempting to interact with the hot cat-suit girl.


  2. Uh, actually you missed one in the awards. Better make that 2.

    http://www.larpies.com/Submissions/AdventuresUnlimited_07.htm


  3. LMFAO!!!
    this is what you egt if you type in ‘fucking nerds’ on google.


  4. Pleas add ukrainian version, будь ласка.


  5. Haha, pwned.


  6. heh.. wanna know something funny?
    im a nerd, and those girl aint outta my league.
    mwuahahahahaha!!!

    Feel the sting of Loviatar
    let the bitter taste of despair scourge thy tongue!


  7. That’s what you get for being narrowminded. Suffer.


  8. […] “pedophile Junior High Teacher” hot, and possibly even legitimately hot.  Add in a flounder index that would unquestionably be off the charts, and my penis makes some interesting […]


  9. Not all Larpers are sad obsessives. Yes, we do get our fair share but if you look at every other hobby you’ll find the sad obsessives who live for the hobby and nothing else. Even – no – especially in sports and other traditionally none geek and nerd activities.

    A sizable proportion of us are just normal people (okay normal people and students) who don’t care what people think about larping, know it’s a silly game but also know that it’s a lot of fun to play.


  10. That Chick isn’t a Larper, she is furry in disguise as a Larper.


  11. I am what I thought was a nerd until recently, I like my Star Wars, I like my movie. But when I to began to understand that this nerd thing is a complicated layered thing and that LARPING exists at the very bottom of the barrel marked Nerd. So if I may explain to you something about That world…That chick in the picture albeit a Cute Girl…She’s a Furry dude. She likes to say mee-ow during sex…Now Sure thats kinda kinky let it go if it happened just the once maybe…She likes to have Sex and say me-oww all the time she would prefer if you said Woof and chased her round the room She’s a polyamorus larping wierdo dude. And she will eat your soul. Do’nt enable their escapism…Friends do’nt let friends LARP.



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