A proud moment, indeedAugust 4, 2006
It turns out that my lowly little blog, which I’ve been writing for only a few scant months is the number one (or occasionally number two, depending on the day) result in Google for all manner of ridiculous phrases, which I find out when creepy strangers type them in & then visit, only to leave moments later, unhappy that they ended up here at all. Current standings by phrase:
1) “fucking nerds” – #2 result
2) “check out my junk” – First place
3) “mommy likes to fuck” – #2 result. I’m especially proud of this one, as I come in ahead of an actual porn DVD entitled “Mommy Loves Cum 2: Mommy Likes to Fuck on DVD” (currently all the way on the second page of the results, despite being the #1 most LIKELY target of any pervert typing this phrase into Google)
It’s starting to make me think I can just type any relatively obscure phrase & I’ll end up highly ranked on Google for that phrase, for whatever that’s worth. Watch, I’ll try it right now: “my male pug has no nuts.” I give it a week before I’m the top result for that bit of nonsense (although it’s true, he doesn’t). For a better illustration of the power of a good Googlerank, I defer to a higher power:
When I met Andy Baio, of the fantastic blog Waxy.org, he told me that his goal in life was to replace that fucker Scott Baio as the #1 Baio on Google. For a brief, shining moment, he did, as a cartoon he drew got printed in the NY Times, along with an article interviewing him about Disney & copyright. But in the shifting nature of Page Rank & Search Engine re-jiggering, Charles is once again in Charge, Google Loves Chachi. Someday, Andy Baio, you can join me at the top of Google. It’s pretty awesome up here.