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ANOTHER story about peeing?

September 19, 2006

I went to my first NFL game this Sunday with my brother – Chargers vs Tennessee.  It was a blast, and the experience made me think of other first time sporting events.  My first NBA game was the Lakers vs I can’t remember who, back in the Forum, before Shaq & Kobe, but after Magic & Kareem.  The 1990’s doldrums of the franchise. 

At halftime of the Laker’s game, I got up to go to the men’s room, and the line was all the way out of the restroom & down the concourse.  It seemed to be moving really quickly though, so I stayed in it.  When I got inside the men’s room, I realized why it was moving so quickly – men were three deep at the pee trough, and had started peeing directly into the sinks.  The lines just seemed to naturally form, and before I knew it, I was in the middle “pee in the sink” line. 

Unfortunately, the pee in the sink line moved slower than the pee in the urinal trough line, and my line moved slowest of all, so that by the time I got up to the front & started doing my business, pretty much everyone else was done over by the sinks.  Worse yet, after I was to the point of no return, stream-wise, a cursory glance revealed that not only was I the only guy at the sinks, but the urinals weren’t even crowded, so now it looked as though I had wandered into a half-full men’s room, evaluated my many urinary options, and chosen sinks for an exciting change of pace.  The highlight of the experience came when a guy who wasn’t paying attention walked up next to me to wash his hands, as he assumed I was doing, only to glance down at my exposed pecker and hightail it out of there, traumatised off of public men’s rooms for years to come.

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4 comments

  1. I’m a pee planner. I grew up going to the Duke games and always got up at any time out in the last two minutes before the half. Back then there were two ladies rooms in opposite diagonal corners and each one had TWO stalls. So basically if you waited until halftime you would spend the entire halftime in line. It was heartbreaking to hear a giant roar while in the bathroom, but far less painful than having to wait in line for 15 minutes.


  2. I just laughed so hard that:

    a- I think I woke up the babies.
    b- I just pee’d in neither sink nor toilet.


  3. There is no way I would have handled that gracefully. Unless I had been drinking. Then I would have handled it in a seemingly reasonable albeit graceless manner.


  4. I guy I used to work with found himself in a “swordfight” over a urinal with a well khown TV producer in a situation much like yours. The TV guy just chatted his way through the whole episode, as if men find themselves in that sort of spot on the hour. Maybe they do, what do I know? My shy womanly kidneys get even more introverted just thinking about it…



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