I Might Be Retarded

November 4, 2006

On a recent business trip the sheer amount of work being conducted became so strenuous that my faculties were confounded. While making my way back from the men’s room I rounded what I thought was a corner & instead walked directly into a wall; compounding the illusion was the fact that the wall was covered with a full length (floor to ceiling) mirror, so I more accurately ran into a life size replica of me, fully equipped with startled semi-drunken features.

While most of my body stayed on this side of the mirror, my big toe actually crossed over into the mirror dimension. It wasn’t as cool as it sounds, and the resulting damage to my toe (see visual aid, above) taught me a valuable lesson about interdimensional travel. The highlight of the whole fiasco was that for one brief moment I managed to yelp out a warning to the ruggedly handsome and vaguely familiar looking man in the mirror before our toes collided, only to turn around after the accident and see one of my co-workers down the ACTUAL hallway staring at me like the jackass I was. There’s no dignity salvaging answer to the question “Did you just yell at that mirror?”



  1. You know you’re having too much fun when you injure yourself.

  2. You’re a funny, funny man.

  3. That’s not too bad. Snowboarding at Mammoth last year took my right big toenail some how. It took took 9 months to grow back, and it’s still not the same.

    Come back my old big righty!

  4. Just think how bad it would have been if you’d been on a BUSINESS snowboarding trip!

  5. But how was the other man? I can only imagine the inter-dimensional pain!

  6. Is your ass as Harry as that toe?!? Oh naked Toe making me hot!

  7. Sorry hairy

  8. I’m so glad you’re in Texas and I am far, far away from you…

  9. But yes, in answer to your question, it is.

  10. i’m not sure if it is the hair that is so perturbing, as much as the sparseness and length of each individual toe hair that sends chills down the spine. maybe braid them and they become more user friendly?

  11. Only a blogger would take a picture of their hairy, discolored toe to enhance their online storytelling.

    Also, I think that picture will be my new Via Chicago avatar. (Too bad I haven’t actually posted there in about 3 weeks.)

  12. If you’re retarded, I am too. I do that type of thing all the time, except half of my toenail is usually torn off as a result.

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