Archive for November 16th, 2006

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The TSA can fuck a monkey

November 16, 2006

So, I’m back in NYC, and I don’t have any toothpaste, thanks to our benevolent guardians at the TSA.  I came here without any, since I knew they would confiscate it at the airport, but I didn’t think through the 2nd part of my plan.  It’s five AM New York time, and my teeth are dirty with the combined plaque causing power of hours of hard work at several local bars.  Fortunately, I’m staying at the W Hotel, which features a concierge line called “Whatever, Whenever”.  I put them to the test with toothpaste @ 5:00 AM, but they met that challenge without blinking.  Now I’m wishing I had called and asked them to bring up a monkey for me to have sex with.  I mean, you can’t go calling yourself the “Whatever, Whenever” line and not be prepared to provide me some monkey loving for my business travel.  And none of that gorilla shit, either, my ass is still sore from the last trip.