Archive for February, 2007

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Emerson Goes Night Night

February 27, 2007


The missus has relented in her ban on YouTube videos of the LBC here on the blog, although the ban may be only temporarily lifted. 

In this video, you can see that my baby has some concrete ideas about whether or not she is tired. It turns out she is not.

P.S., if you’re wondering why Emma has a shiner in this video, it’s cause she needs to learn to make daddy a better cup of coffee.

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Rouse Amusement Index

February 27, 2007

Since 1999, researchers at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington D.C. have tracked my amusement level to a rolling average; for reasons too complex to fully get into, this datapoint is combined with several others (ocean salinity, migratory bird patterns, the price of tea in China) and the results are used to determine whether or not the Federal Reserve raises interest rates.

As you can see in the chart above (click for larger version), the index has done remarkably well for several years running, with the exception of 2001.* Unfortunately, however, careful observers of the RAI have picked up on an alarming new trend. My amusement levels, tracked in the standard unit of measure (JDV, or “joie de vivres”) are trending perilously low. Outward symptoms of this are everywhere, from reduced output on the jonsonblog to less frequent & less interesting posts on metafilter, to a general malaise of the funny bone when it comes to even recognizing & appreciating the alarmingly funny in the regular world.

Scientists & other top experts are confounded as to the source of the precipitous drop off in the RAI, given the increasing adorableness of the Little Baby Cupcake, the continued stable & happy marriage and the marathon like decade of steady gainful employment. A paralyzed Ben Bernanke can only watch helplessly as the nation idly meanders on, blissfully ignorant of the looming peril.

*September 11th changed everything

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Once again, my penis is confused

February 11, 2007

So, this London art gallery is having an exhibit full of photographs of women who are giant, like five stories tall.  The gallery is legit, and the photographs on exhibit are meant to be taken as, if not “fine” art, at the very least, legitimate respectable art that you shouldn’t masturbate on.  But where it’s confusing for me is that the exhibit is totally similar to THIS (safe for work, non-nude) fetish site full of photoshopped giantesses that I originally wrote about here.  Why is one of these things art and the other one fodder for creepy fetishists?

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My baby is a stone-cold GENIUS

February 11, 2007

This morning there was a major stride forward in the field of cupcake communications, the culmination of fourteen months of tireless efforts.  Until recently, most conversations with the LBC could be summed up as follows:

Me: Hey baby, who’s the cutest baby on Earth?

LBC: Nang!

Me: Can you say “Dada?”

LBC: Nang!

Me: Are you hungry?  Do you want me to read you a book?  So how ’bout this Anna Nicole Smith thing?

LBC: Nang!  NangNangNang!

You get the picture.  But this morning, during a busy round of “make faces to keep her amused while the missus changes her diapers,” the LBC said “Daaaaaa.”  I immediately bought her a pony.

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links for 2007-02-10

February 10, 2007
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links for 2007-02-08

February 8, 2007
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links for 2007-02-06

February 6, 2007