The Jonson Media Empire Has Been Poorly Thought Through

May 20, 2007

I’ve never been execptionally proactive about snatching up domain names, which explains why rouse.com & jonson.com are both unavailable to me now.  I don’t suppose I’d mind, if they were at least being used for something awesome like walrus pornography or star wars re-enactment amateur theater, but it seems like they’re just being wasted on crap I don’t enjoy at all.

Rouse.com is owned by a bunch of strangers with the same family name as me, and they use it to post a bunch of photos of their respective offspring, but as far as I can tell, other than a surname, the only thing I have in common with those Rouses is a secret fetish for asian mail-order brides*

But even that is more than I have in common with the people at Jonson.com, who, from what I can make of their insane homepage sell something called “Specialstolar Specialstol Kontorsstolar Kontorsstol Arbetsstolar Arbetsstol Ergonomiska arbetsstolar.”  After further review of their site, I suspect they have some sort of crazy brain injury where it looks to them like they’re typing regular words in English but all that’s coming out is this crazy moon-man jibberish.  Again, useless.

But don’t waste your tears on me – I feel like the real victim here is the American public, always so hungry for more information about me, only to find nightmare inducing images like this one, or the nonsensical scribblings of a depraved half-wit.

*Note: just kidding, honey – or AM I?



  1. Dude! That is the most adult looking child I have ever seen.

  2. Seriously. I suspect he’s a blue-eyed midget.

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