Archive for May 27th, 2007

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It’s funny because it’s true

May 27, 2007

Comedian Louis C.K. on the dangers of visiting Chinatown:

“[I’m concerned] about going to Chinatown and seeing duck vaginas in a big barrel and being afraid to eat one, because I don’t want to find out that I love duck vaginas and I gotta have them, and at 4 o’clock in the morning, I’m having a craving for duck vaginas, and Chinatown’s closed, so I have to go to the park with a knife.”

Along the lines of truth/wisdom in a comedy routine, this entire page of quotes from stand up comic Demetri Martin pretty much makes me laugh.  Favorites:

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, ‘Actual’. I’m not to scale.

‘Cotton balls’ is an example of something I would buy, but not want to have as a nickname. ‘Cinnamon buns’, on the other hand, is something I would buy and want to have as a nickname. ‘Are you Cinnamon Buns?’ ‘You bet your sweet ass I am.’

Some jokes are short and elegant, like a mathematical proof or a midget in a ballgown

I like video games, but they’re really violent. I’d like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It’d be called ‘Really Busy Hospital.’

When I was young I was really into sports. But then I realised you could buy trophies. So now I’m good at everything.

Oh yeah, as long as I’m making a post about childish things that make me laugh, I feel I should point out that the greatest photo in the history of the internet has officially been found.

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