Archive for May, 2007

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Validation at long sweet last

May 22, 2007

If you don’t count the founder or his twin henchmen, nor the thousands of helpful people who answer questions in AskMetafilter, nor any of the regulars who are all more beloved than I, then I am clearly the most important person at Metafilter.

Now sure, some of you will say, “imaginary bonus points on an internet message board don’t really matter in the real world,” but you people are the same folk who said that cars could never be powered by gravy, and who’s laughing now?

In the future, when there’s a regular award for “Most Interesting Person on the Internet”, I think that award should be called The Jonson. As in, “the winner of this year’s Jonson for Most Interesting Post involving LolCats is… “

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links for 2007-05-21

May 21, 2007
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The Jonson Media Empire Has Been Poorly Thought Through

May 20, 2007

I’ve never been execptionally proactive about snatching up domain names, which explains why rouse.com & jonson.com are both unavailable to me now.  I don’t suppose I’d mind, if they were at least being used for something awesome like walrus pornography or star wars re-enactment amateur theater, but it seems like they’re just being wasted on crap I don’t enjoy at all.

Rouse.com is owned by a bunch of strangers with the same family name as me, and they use it to post a bunch of photos of their respective offspring, but as far as I can tell, other than a surname, the only thing I have in common with those Rouses is a secret fetish for asian mail-order brides*

But even that is more than I have in common with the people at Jonson.com, who, from what I can make of their insane homepage sell something called “Specialstolar Specialstol Kontorsstolar Kontorsstol Arbetsstolar Arbetsstol Ergonomiska arbetsstolar.”  After further review of their site, I suspect they have some sort of crazy brain injury where it looks to them like they’re typing regular words in English but all that’s coming out is this crazy moon-man jibberish.  Again, useless.

But don’t waste your tears on me – I feel like the real victim here is the American public, always so hungry for more information about me, only to find nightmare inducing images like this one, or the nonsensical scribblings of a depraved half-wit.

*Note: just kidding, honey – or AM I?

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links for 2007-05-20

May 20, 2007
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Murder In Progress

May 18, 2007


An owl got too close to the nest of a crow in our neighborhood; the crow raised an alarm, and soon more than 40 others came to its aid. Eventually, the owl was driven off in a spectacular chase, but not until long after I stopped filming, sadly.

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links for 2007-05-18

May 18, 2007
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Los Angeles Reinvents Itself Constantly

May 16, 2007

This flickr set is awesome, albeit possibly only to residents (former & current) of Los Angeles.  Apparently, for that shitty 1990’s movie Volcano*, in which the La Brea Tar Pits erupt into a massive volcano that flows down Wilshire to the coast, pulling permits to film on the most famous section of the pre-eminent street in Los Angeles would have been cost-prohibitive, even for a big stupid expensive film.  So they did the next best thing.  They recreated the entire strip down in Torrance, from Wilshire & Fairfax (the old May Co, Peterson Automotive Museum) all the way up to the Tar Pits, crazy dying mammoth statues included.  Ridiculous.  It’s like finding a 1:1 scale recreation of Times Square over in Yonkers ’cause it’s cheaper to film there.

*Bonus note for obsessive collectors of Jonson oriented trivia – it was the trailer for this shitty movie, in combination with the shitty maudlin Counting Crows song “A Long December” that convinced me to move back from Arlington, VA to Los Angeles, where I eventually met & impregnated my wife, the missus.  So, thank you, makers of crappy Volcano based Los Angeles disaster movies.  Without you, there would be no Little Baby Cupcake.