Archive for June 8th, 2007

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A Lunch “Outing”*

June 8, 2007

One of my better friends is a stay at home dad, with twins, and we have a semi-regular habit of getting lunch every month or so during the work week.  He loads both the toddlers in the mini-van & we end up eating at some chain burger joint like Chilis or Applebees, etc.  The unintentional comedy of these outings is that they couldn’t possibly seem more gay if we started blowing each other during the meal.  Two guys, two little toddlers, and my affinity for super gay drinks like Strawberry Lemonade are pretty much sealing the deal for our waitstaff & the entire community of tables around us.  The most amusing thing for me is, I’m not 100% sure what the worst part is for my friend:

1) Everyone thinking that if he was gay, the best he could do is score me.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a super handsome dude, but I’m a wee bit husky, and I know the gay waiters in particular (or “gaiters,” as I call ’em) are thinking “jesus, dude, you could do so much better” when they look at my straight friend and imagine he’s stuck with me.

 Or

2) Everyone thinking that if he was gay, he’s clearly the chick in the relationship, since he’s doing all the taking care of the little ‘uns during the meal & I’m not helping out that much.  I frequently like to enhance this misperception by making a big show of paying for the meal, which I primarily do because being a stay at home dad doesn’t pay as well as being a high powered executive such as myself.

I joked with him about the whole issue at lunch, but next time I go out to lunch with him I’m probably going to have to wear my I Heart Vagina t-shirt.

*I’m kinda pissed that no one got my Night Ranger reference in the original title of the religion & family post three down from this one, so I’m opting for less subtlety from here on out.

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June 8, 2007