My Dad is Totally Not GermanJuly 15, 2007
So, for years I’ve been defending my virulent anti-immigrant statements by telling everyone that I’m the son of immigrant parents, a fact which I believed to be 50% lie even under the most liberal of definitions. My mom was born & raised in Missouri in the 1930s, which is like another country when it comes to running water & the all important chicken-to-human ratio in the urbanized areas. But my DAD, on the other hand, was legitimately German, or so I believed.
I told a bunch of people over the course of decades of misinformation that my father was born in Germany because his father had moved there from Pasadena at the start of the Great Depression, because Germany had more jobs for Hydroelectric Engineers, a field my grandfather was somewhat of a pioneer in. Then, when the Nazis rose to power and things started to look ominous, my grandfather & his fraulein babymama came back to the US, only to settle in Iowa for some reason. Well, as I found out a couple weeks ago, much of this story is true. Except for the part about my dad being born in Germany. Somehow, even though his mom is German, he was born in Boston. And THEN moved to Germany, and then fled when the nazis yada yada yada.
This totally rocks my world, because 1) apparently grandad moved to Germany, met grandma, married her, moved back to boston, had my dad, THEN decided to move back to Germany, which makes no sense, and 2) Now I’m no longer even 50% “the son of immigrant parents”. This will eliminate the moral highground I frequently cling to when railing on about the immigrant threat.
Fortunately, my mom actually WAS born in Missouri, so I can still mock yokels while claiming to be of sound squirrel-eatin’ stock. Take that, yokels!