World’s 29,000 laziest sex offenders identified, bannedJuly 25, 2007
This PR nightmare released by Rupert Murdoch’s MySpace cites the banning of 29,000 registered sex offenders who had MySpace pages. In addition to being 400% more sex offenders than MySpace had originally claimed were using their service, it’s important to note when reeling at the vast number of rapists on MySpace that this is
1) only the REGISTERED sex offenders, meaning the ones who had been caught and tried and convicted and served their time and released back into the wild, and
2) only the not very bright registered sex offenders who used their real names when creating their MySpace pages.
You used your real names?? Get your head in the game, sexual predators! Hell, even I know better than to use my real name on MySpace – after all, the damn thing’s full of rapists, I’m no fool. So, there’s probably WAY more rapists who haven’t been caught, or who got caught & acquitted, or caught, NOT acquitted, but using a fake name still out there on MySpace.
This, when coupled with the recent reports that everyone is fleeing MySpace because it’s SO lame in exchange for Facebook accounts makes me think that MySpace in 2007 is like the island of Manhattan in Escape From New York, only instead of a wide swath of criminals, the community is pretty much nothing but rapists, all of them pretending to be horny teenagers, hoping to lure in other teenagers.
Poor rapists… for a while, this new rapist-only MySpace has got to seem like a garden of Eden – “Jesus, there’s NOTHING but horny teenagers here! I’m going to have to start using viagra to keep up with all my sexual assaults!” But then slowly the horrible truth dawns, as they begin to realize that the only non-rapist on MySpace is Chris Hansen, saving up for sweeps week.
BTW, this entry has set a new personal record for most uses of the word “rapist” in a non-work related document (I work in marketing, you’d be surprised how often the term comes up). There’s a good reason for that – I noticed that the jonsonblog is nowhere near the top of the results returned for the word rapist & I was hoping to change that.
Wow… even just writing that last joke creeps me out. Hey, I learned something new about myself. I can creep myself out with my own damn jokes. Freak.