When I was a kid in England I had a bunch of these; amazing that someone scanned them all. Ah, Internets.
Archive for September, 2007
Maybe I’m alone in this, but whenever I go see a band, I wonder what songs they’ll play, hoping it’s the ones I like, etc, and I usually end up Googling around to see if anyone has posted a setlist online. Recently I realized that the best place to find these setlists is actually on Flickr. Every concert I’ve been to over the the last few months (five so far, with The Hold Steady at the Wiltern closing things out next month) had a setlist posted on Flickr. Just search for the name of the band, sort the results by “Most Recent” and you’ll find a fan who took a shot of the printed/hand scribbled setlist on the stage & posted it on their Flickr account. God Bless a critical mass of users.
Greviously injured Buffalo Bills player Kevin Everett was initially believed parazlyed for life, but thanks to some amazing doctors is now able to move his arms & legs. This Palm Beach local news fuck up accidentally replaces footage of Everett with footage of a gang banger trying to kick his way out of a courtroom, with hilarious results. The cop stomping on him is a nice touch.
I got a letter today from Chase Bank, preferred credit card issuer for My Fake Business. Although my plan to sue ESPN for seed capital to get my business up & running fell through, by using my “corporate” card for all my actual legitimate work bills (which get reimbursed by my actual employer) My Fake Business has been given an even ludicrously higher credit limit (just under $20,000) & the opportunity to add multiple employees to my card.
Although I do have a series of employees (LBC’s nanny/bi-weekly housekeeper/gardeners) I believe that none of them are documented workers, and thus are not to be trusted with the keys to the MFB credit empire. From what I hear on the right-wing radio, they would probably just charge $20,000 in cash advances & then mail the money back to Guatemala, although the exact financial details of their schemes are a little confusing to me. Ever since I started listening to the world’s greatest sports radio show, my right-wing radio listening is way down. On the plus side, I’m much less suspicious of my wife & daughter all the time. Back when I listened to John & Ken on 640 AM in the afternoon (show motto: Lookout! Mexicans!!) I was always keeping an eye on the missus (and half an eye on the LBC) to see if they were stealing money from me or My Fake Business & sending back to their home country.
By the way, if you live in L.A. & drive in the afternoon, you really should trust me about the Petros & Money Show, it’s the funniest, most entertaining radio show I’ve ever heard. For a sample, earlier this year back when the NFL draft was being simulcast ad nauseum on every sportsradio show, PMS ran the Ultimate Draft of Everything Ever, in which the hosts took turns randomly drafting people, places, concepts, theories & other nouns to see who would end up with the more powerful team:
Petros: With the 19th pick in the draft, I take the Hello Kitty Franchise & all the assorted wealth and influence that accompanies it.
Money: Man, I can’t believe Jesus is still on the board.
Pete Ellis Dodge
Sometimes, when things get a little weirder & then a little weirder still, in tiny increments, you can end up in a very weird situation & take it for granted. If we could have seen in early 2001 that some day there would be a whole new bureacracy dedicated to the safety of our transportation, and this government division would have signs up all over our airports telling us that we can take the small toothpaste on the trip with us but not the large toothpaste (because the large toothpaste could be lethal!!!*), and that if we wanted to take a travel size shampoo with us on the plane it had to be in a separate clear pastic ziploc (maybe they just didn’t want it to spill on our clothes?), if we could have seen all this, a scant 6 years later, we absolutely would not have believed it. Islamic terrorists flying planes into buildings is MUCH more plausible than a government organization dedicated to monitoring the size of my shampoo as I go through the airport.
That said, nothing to do with the absurdity that is the TSA can compete with their new program, Clear, and its bizarre, American Express looking website. Clear is a government issued license to be less hassled by the government division dedicated to hassling you sold to you at a cost of $99 a year (verbatim quote: “Lock in these prices by purchasing a two-year membership for $199.90 or a three-year membership for $299.85”). The division that sells you the revokable privilege to travel with less hassle is the same division dedicated to hassling you, of course, and this service that you are lucky enough to be able to purchase is only applicable at the handful of airports that participate in the TSA’s Orwellianly named “Registered Traveller Program.” The features/benefits list of the FAQ states that “fewer missed flights” is a chief benefit of the program, which is linguistically so very close to a mobster selling you “protection” against anything unfortunate that might happen to your shop as to be laughable.
Who knew, as Lindsay Marshall said, that all that hassle was in fact just a business plan?
*but apparently not lethal enough that they have ever stopped me from just carrying the toothpaste through the metal detector by tucking it up a shirtsleeve – hah, up yours TSA! Advantage, my dentist!!