The Internet – It Has a Dark Side??

September 5, 2007

So, it turns out that the internet is bigger than you think it is.  And the worst part is, everything is linked to everything else with little innocent clicks, so you can start out on a site like reddit.com or some other link aggregator and end up somewhere very, very horrible.  That has happened to me a bunch of times.  Now, I realize I will sound like a secretly gay Republican who KEEPS getting caught trying to bang dudes in public bathrooms over & over, but I swear that through no fault of my own I ended up today at (for God’s sake don’t click any of the following links):

1) My Balls – A photoblog where the artist submits a new photo every few days of his testicles doing something amusing.

2) Got Cum – A photoblog (linked from My Balls, oddly enough) of promotional photos of attractive female celebrities full clothed.  Oh yeah, the photos have been printed out & ejaculated on, sometimes quite voluminiously.

3) PopThatZit.com – A videoblog of people filming their own zits (actually, usually a friend or relative is holding the camera) being popped.  This one, for me, was the weirdest.  I mean, I don’t film my balls, or masturbate onto printed out photos of The Olsen Twins, but even if I did, I’d have the good sense to do it alone in the privacy of my secret shame chamber.  The zits one seems to be a social collaborative affair, and that is perhaps its most creepy aspect.  I have a bunch of friends (no seriously, I do), but I don’t have any friends I feel close enough to that I would film them in popping their zits.

So, I just want to warn you all, the internet is not all about meeting delightful childrens authors & placing delightful sports wagers.  There’s balls out there, people.  Strange, hairy balls.



  1. I must register at least a smidgen of skepticism, Jonson. I am an avid explorer of the internet, but I have never (fully) accidentally stumbled upon bukkake-esque flickr sets without having previously strayed into the darker corners of the tubes. Am I wrong? Am I in danger of discovering images of a woman with elephantitis of the vulva while innocently reading up on stalactites?

  2. Danger lurks around every corner. Why just today I was reading some dude’s blog and there was a link to two gay nazis blowing each other. This kind of material shows up in the least likely places. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to my research of stalactites just in case it leads to anything troubling.

  3. Finally, a disturbing post on your blog whose links I’m not the least bit curious to open. Oh, sure… the fascist fellatio was intriguing only because I thought you might be bluffing. Thankfully it was a bluff I didn’t call.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, my printer is almost done with the picture of Scarlet Johanson and I have some “business” to take care of.

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