There Are More Pigeons Than You Think

September 6, 2007

Yesterday the missus & I took the LBC out for a walk to the corner bakery, and while we were sitting outside, I threw a piece of bread down on the ground to feed the lone pigeon hungry enough to approach.  The missus reprimanded me, and pointed a sign above my head that said “Please Don’t Feed The Pigeons.”  I scoffed, which is my default reprimand response, and said “why the hell not?”

Two Pigeons

In the photo above, you can see the one pigeon, and a swiftly approaching second pigeon in the background.  Seconds later…

Four Pigeons

….there were three pigeons, with a swiftly approaching fourth pigeon in the background.  Seconds later…

Six Pigeons

…there were FIVE pigeons, with a swiftly approaching sixth pigeon in the background.  Eventually even more than six showed up, some landed on our table & dive bombed my wife’s head as they took off, many wandered immediately under our feet making me realize that I have a phobia of pigeons pecking out my achilles tendon that I never even knew about.  The weirdest part was, there really was only one pigeon when this all started.  It was like they were fucking ninjas, all of them dropping out of the sky thanks to some ultrasonic frequency emitted by the lone tiny piece of bread I threw out hitting the ground.  Hyper agressive ninjas, too.



  1. Man that is a fancy stroller. Bet you didn’t know there is a secret storage compartment for storing a makeshift .22 calibur zip gun. Perfect for taking care of the occasional pigeon or ninja. Then again, maybe that is just the Lone Star edition of the stroller.

  2. Jonson – what lovely shoes and legs you have.

  3. I am fascinated by the shoe. The separation of the big toe from the rest of the shoe – does this serve an orthopaedic function? Maybe they’re anti-ninja shoes.

  4. The LBC does not appear phased at all by the attacking pigeons. Brave girl…

  5. Inspired by barefoot runners of Kenya, this trainer/racer offers lightweight flexibility and natural motion.

    A split toe creates a powerful push-off.

    Four-way stretch mesh ensures a superior fit with moisture-wicking ability.

    An articulated forefoot enhances balance, control and power.

    Sculpted Phylon midsole cradles the foot, and a heel Air-Sole unit provides impact protection.

  6. “…and a heel Air-Sole unit provides impact protection.”

    Perfect for when you smack Jonathan over the head with it.

  7. Have you ever been to Venice? The pigeons at the Piazza San Marco are world famous for their aggressive ninja-ness. I have pics of them crawling all over me, with one even perched on my head. That experience will put you off feeding pigeons for life!

    btw – I like the shoes, too!

  8. Every time I see the missus I covet her newest shoes. Can’t wait to see what she’s wearing for NFL opening day.

    Ninja pigeons. LOL.

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