Excellent News for My Fake Business

September 24, 2007

I got a letter today from Chase Bank, preferred credit card issuer for My Fake Business.  Although my plan to sue ESPN for seed capital to get my business up & running fell through, by using my “corporate” card for all my actual legitimate work bills (which get reimbursed by my actual employer) My Fake Business has been given an even ludicrously higher credit limit (just under $20,000) & the opportunity to add multiple employees to my card. 

Although I do have a series of employees (LBC’s nanny/bi-weekly housekeeper/gardeners) I believe that none of them are documented workers, and thus are not to be trusted with the keys to the MFB credit empire.  From what I hear on the right-wing radio, they would probably just charge $20,000 in cash advances & then mail the money back to Guatemala, although the exact financial details of their schemes are a little confusing to me.  Ever since I started listening to the world’s greatest sports radio show, my right-wing radio listening is way down.  On the plus side, I’m much less suspicious of my wife & daughter all the time.  Back when I listened to John & Ken on 640 AM in the afternoon (show motto: Lookout! Mexicans!!) I was always keeping an eye on the missus (and half an eye on the LBC) to see if they were stealing money from me or My Fake Business & sending back to their home country. 

By the way, if you live in L.A. & drive in the afternoon, you really should trust me about the Petros & Money Show, it’s the funniest, most entertaining radio show I’ve ever heard.  For a sample, earlier this year back when the NFL draft was being simulcast ad nauseum on every sportsradio show, PMS ran the Ultimate Draft of Everything Ever, in which the hosts took turns randomly drafting people, places, concepts, theories & other nouns to see who would end up with the more powerful team:

Petros: With the 19th pick in the draft, I take the Hello Kitty Franchise & all the assorted wealth and influence that accompanies it.

Money: Man, I can’t believe Jesus is still on the board.



  1. For the record, the nanny, housekeeper & gardener are all documented.

    Cheri: he will never learn.

  2. Documented = not funny.

  3. Does MFB offer a 401(k) to its employees? How much vacation time? Can I forward my resume to HR?

  4. If you move MFB to Dallas I hear there are huge tax incentives and the pool of undocumented workers is about the same if not more.

  5. They’d have to be pretty huge to overcome the fact that MFB’s only source of revenue remains the $20K line of credit from Chase.

  6. I wish I lived in L.A. and could listen to that radio show. it sounds awesome.

  7. Missus: Oy vey. Take heart, they say that the federal prison system (“Club Fed”) is a cakewalk.

  8. Have you thought about taking MFB global…as in MFB Canada?

    I notice that “the missus” is always rather quick to point out any flaws (percieved or otherwise) in your logic/reasoning/plans for domination/storytelling. Why is that?

    Wait…it’s ’cause of that whole ‘married’ thing, right?
    *Asienda Edit*

  9. I’ve been listening to petros and money for a while I agree they’re funny. The guys before them are decent too. I forget what the name of the previous show is but it’s three guys mostly, former Laker Mychal Thompson and Vic the Brick (who’s usually kind of annoying but goes good with the other two dudes here) and one more guy who’s kind of the straight guy.

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