The City of Boston Must Be Stopped

October 25, 2007

As I write this, the Patriots are 7-0, Boston College is undefeated & ranked #2 in the nation, the Red Sox just won game 1 of the World Series by 12 runs and the Celtics are about to begin the NBA season after signing Ray Allen & Kevin Garnett and giving up nothing much in exchange for them, making them the pre-season favorites to represent the East in the NBA finals next spring.  Apparently Boston also has a professional ice-hockey team, but I don’t know what’s going on with them. Probably something annoying.

So, allow me to add my voice to the growing chorus of people on the web lamenting this state of affairs and demanding that someone do something.  My initial thoughts involved Tom Brady getting run over by a car, but then I realized I was thinking small.  What this situation calls for is Tom Brady to be driving in one direction, at like 50 m.p.h., and then running head on into another car being driven by Paul Pierce in the opposite direction.  Also, they’re both giving a lift to Manny Rodriguez & David Ortiz, respectively.   Finally, just as every Boston sports fan on Earth arrives at the scene of the crash to see if anyone survived, the gas tanks explode.  Alright, the concepting phase is officially done – now someone make that happen.



  1. boston is the america. everyone hates us for being so awesome.

  2. boston is the new america, I meant.

  3. haha wordpress just told me I was posting comments too quickly. I don’t know why that’s funny, but it is. it said “whoa, slow down, you’re posting comments too quickly.”

  4. Are you drunk? Or just drunk on your temporary sports dominance?

  5. Yes.

  6. Calm down Beantown. There was once a time when Kirk Gibson hobbled around bases and Magic sank ‘baby hooks.’ Look at us now. Thank God for USC – sort of.

    And LA is the new America – that’s why so many Bostonians migrate here. (Illegally at that.)

  7. Plus, leaving aside hometown favorites & rivalries & such, isn’t it just GOOD when teams from Boston lose? And isn’t it just GOOD when teams from Los Angeles win?

  8. But that Tom Brady pretty dreamy.

  9. A lot of gay dudes are.

  10. Feel free to rant on the Patriots, Celtics, Bruins and all the others, but lay off my Red Sox.

    Red Sox F’ing RULE!

    And, BTW, your plan for the gas tanks exploding is flawed. The real way this would happen is that when all the fans mobbed the accident site, the Boston Police would shoot them all. Its happened before.

  11. Dear GOD! Does this mean that Ted Kennedy could run ad win the White House? My skin crawls.

  12. By the way….The Celtics were due to make a comeback someday! THEY RULE, and I will proudly don my Green come the NBA finals!

    GO MITT!

  13. […] have said it better myself October 28, 2007 Posted by bbop in sports. trackback This is exactly how I feel about the current run of luck being experienced by Boston-area sports fans. […]

  14. This also happened in Philly, can’t remember what year, but remember them playing that annoying Elton John song all the time.

  15. Boston is old america with new brains.
    L.A. is old hollywood with no brains.
    The south is old america with no brains.
    Where is america anymore? Not sure but it isn’t in sports. Dedicating more than 5 minutes a day to sports is a waste of one’s life. What should you put your time into? No idea.

    Is this comment wierd? You bet. I’m laughing my a$$ off right now.

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