Unfortunate Tattoo

October 30, 2007

On my lunch break just now, my co-worker and I drove by a young woman in a tube top(!) standing on a corner. She had the word “BRIAN” tattooed on her chest, right above her boobs, which led to the following exchange:

Me: Did you see that?

Co-worker: Yeah.  I guess she really likes Brian.

Me: Let’s hope so. If they broke up, it’d be really awkward for the next guy.  “Every time I titfuck my girlfriend, I come on her ex boyfriend’s name.”*

*This post was directly inspired by the disgraceful lack of vulgarity on the jonsonblog in recent times.



  1. Now this is more like it… getting back to the stories that really speak to me and the reason I started reading jonsonblog in the first place! Anyone who is offended by this post should stop reading the jonsonblog. The only thing that would have made this post better would be if Bacon Salt could some how be worked in…

  2. HA HA HA!

    Actually, the most vulgar in recent times is still BaconSalt…

  3. Either you have super-human vision or she had amazingly large boobs in order for you to read “Brian” from her “tits.”

    Obviously, I hope it was the latter.

  4. “Every time I titfuck my girlfriend, I come on her ex boyfriend’s name.”

    “And then I have an irrepressible urge to sprinkle bacon-salt all over her.”

  5. actual chuck – it was a large tattoo, and positioned about 50% of the way between cleavage & chin.

  6. Also: amusing that my readership is entirely comprised of Nathans, Chucks & notNathan/notChucks.

  7. We’re jamming everyone else’s access!

    (actually, I hadn’t noticed. That’s pretty funny)

  8. Even weirder than being the next guy, what if you’re Brian? I don’t know if I really want to look at a billboard of my own name on her chest. It’d almost be as big a turn-off as having sex while looking at your own picture… carved into an apple core.

  9. I couldn’t figure out why you seemed to have just 3 people commenting…makes much more sense now.

    LOL…”Mr. Chucksley”. Shoulda changed my name here to NoIAmJonson.

  10. You are hereby notified that you have three days to diversify you audience. You are in violation of the Internet Diversity Act of 2003, section IV, Para 38, (i.e. not appealing to audiences of varied names).

    If, at the conclusion of three days, you have not added some Arnolds, Susans, Huberts, and/or Laquishas, your posting rights will be suspended for a period of 90 days and/or a fine of $329.76 will be assessed.

    We’re watching.

    And more porn.

  11. Porn isn’t just delicious, it’s Aliwicious.

  12. I’m sure she would have accommadated you guys if you asked for a picture to support your blog entry. Very dissappointed in your developemnt of this entry.

  13. Maybe she tried to have the word “BRAIN” tattoed on her tittybone so that guys would be reminded that there is more to her than her titts. Except clearly there isn’t because she misspelled it?

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