The Heartbreak of Restless Leg Syndrome

November 8, 2007

According to the Wikipedia, Restless Leg Syndrome “is a condition that is characterised by an irresistible urge to move one’s legs” which sounds like something I’d normally make fun of if it weren’t for the fact that I’m busy making fun of the cure for Restless Leg Syndrome. 

Apparently you can bring much needed rest to your lower appendages through a steady diet of Requip, a drug whose side effects are as bizarre as the Syndrome they cure.  From the Requip siteAlso tell your doctor if you experience new or increased gambling, sexual, or other intense urges while taking Requip. WTF?  The cure for the jimmylegs makes you want to fuck & gamble?  I’m worried someone has been putting Requip in my Diet Pepsi, cause I spend 92% of my waking thoughts on sex and gambling, and most of my dreams are sexy gambling dreams. 

I may be on to something here.  I wonder if my body naturally manufactures the Requip endorphins, which is why my legs are naturally so non-jittery and also why I sexy gamble* so much.

*sexy gambling is a new term I have made up, covering a broad spectrum of activities that I cannot go into on a public forum.



  1. a broad spectrum of activities that I cannot go into on a public forum.

    I can’t even begin to imagine something you feel uncomfortable discussing in a public forum.

  2. I bet my testicles you can’t! Whoops. That’s the Requip talking. I added some to my tacos at lunch and both my sexual & gambling urges are off the charts right now. I keep having unprotected sex with the skeeviest prostitutes I can find.

  3. Apparently the stop smoking drug Chnatix makes your F’ing crazy. A local musician here went nuts and tried to kick down a door or his girl friends neighbor and got shot in head.


    Especially when mixed with alchohol.

    I’ll go with sexy gambling any day.

    ANy other side effects related to drugs hoping to heal?

    – Trying to buy Aqua Dots!

  4. I just saw an advert on TV for that, had no idea (as usual) what the thing was a cure for, but the side-effects seemed so made up, I thought it was a SNL clip.

    Alas, I agree with Nathan about where jonsonblog is going, if you are starting to feel uncomfortable.

  5. I realize, in hindsight, that I am just mortified at the thought that there’s something so disgusting that you would hesitate to discuss it in a public forum.

    And please don’t tell me what it is.

  6. Trout photos have never made it to the blog.

    Believe me, there are things that Jonson sends directly that would make a billy goat puke. Consider yourself lucky that you are not in the inner most circle of his twisted world.

  7. My boyfriend is on painkillers these days following hand surgery, and we’ve been lamenting the dearth of interesting side effects — including sexy gambling. His only side effect seems to be that his drugs make him pee more. The Scody Household demands more interesting symptoms!

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