To be opened in the event of our untimely deathDecember 13, 2007
The missus & I made a lot of decisions when we first had the LBC, not the least of which was forming a trust to handle all our assets & naming the LBC the beneficiary. Unfortunately, when it came time to pick a successor for us (in terms of raising Emerson) if we both died in an accident, we chose with our hearts rather than our minds, and based the choice on “sweetness” rather than actual ability to raise a small child, which is how we ended up picking Emerson’s grandmother as the person we wanted in charge of raising her if we both died.
The choice doesn’t make a lot of sense on paper, as Grandma is pretty old currently, and raising a small child isn’t something you start in your sixties unless you’re in the Rolling Stones, or maybe one of those Guiness World Record holding “oldest crone to give birth” types. So, upon reflection we decided to change things up & leave Emma to my brother & his wife, who have done pretty well on their children so far. Unfortunately, this means not only the legal headache of changing the Trust/Will, but also the emotional minefield of telling Grandma that she’s out.
The missus & I were discussing the best way to broach the subject, and I suggested just sending Grandma a sealed envelope entitled “To be opened in the event of our untimely death,” which would bluntly state what the deal was. It works flawlessly, in that we would no longer be there for the awkwardness, but the missus pointed out that Grandma might violate the rules, to which I would say we just need to amend the letter to read “Nana Ellen, if you’re reading this & we’re still alive, then clearly you can’t follow simple instructions & we can’t trust you with the Cupcake. If, on the other hand we’re dead, this is just to let you know that we went with someone else for the position of child rearing. Thanks for the sugar cookies!!”