A trip down memory lane

January 20, 2008

My parents are both medieval historians, which meant that growing up I spent a lot of time in Europe (to quote Eddie Izzard, “where the History is”).  As an adult, it sounds like an awesome childhood, spending every 3rd year in Oxford, travelling around to see castles & ruins, etc.  But I recently found some photographs from my youth that seem to tell a different story.

You can read the delight in my eyes.  I think this was castle # 7 of this one specific road trip.  We didn’t have a car when we lived in England, so we’d store up all our castlegoing into one fun filled week of rental car adventure.

I’d love to tell you that this is from the same road trip, but the truth is, I only had that one jacket.  But can you blame me?   When you find a jacket THAT attractive, who needs multiple options?  I subscribe to this same theory today, as anyone who knows me can attest.

My parents rented me to this man in exchange for a rare manuscript.  The worst part was when he teabagpiped my chin.

Looking back on all these photos, it’s hard to say which one best sums up my life in England.  But it’s pretty easy for me to say which one best sums up my life during the years we spent in the U.S.

YEEEHAW!!  Lighting shit on fire while naked in the gutter!  U.S.A! U.S.A.!!!


  1. OMG I just laughed for five minutes straight. Why are you holding hands with that bagpiper? I really would appreciate an explanation on the last photo, it’s disturbing. Is that a giant box of matches in your hands? Who took the picture? Are you lighting fireworks?

  2. I would explain it to you, but a) that would kill the mystique, 2) You wouldn’t understand since you’re only partially American, and IV.) much like the photo of the bagpiper, I have no memory of the nude pyro incident.

    On a related note, can you believe how fucking huge my forehead was as a child?

  3. Tom Laughed His Ass Off when he saw this. Me? Well, I laughed too, but more importantly, I’m going to have my therapist read this post. It will cut right to the chase, saving me thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours.

  4. my parents warned me about you…

  5. I appears you are lighting those black snakes that grow. (Note the black tail coming out of the smoke.) Starter fireworks, even safer than sparklers.

    That or some black tar heroin.

    “huge as a kid?” What? You break all the mirrors after age 13?

    I shouldn’t make fun, I suffer from the same gentic defect. I think it’s the only way to store our massive brains.

  6. Here is wiki’s reference to the Black Snake – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_snake_(firework)

  7. Yeah, it’s totally the Black Snake firework. You can see the tons of char spots on the gutter from where I’ve been lighting them all morning. It’s a 4th of July photo.

    And yeah, my forehead is still pretty huge, but there’s something extra shocking about seeing it on a kid, I guess.

  8. “teabagpiped”

    I’m having trouble typing because the laughter-tears are blurring my vision.

  9. AWWWWW! That forehead. Those sad blue eyes. That cowlick. What a cutie!!! And btw, I recently came across a pic of you from 10th grade – you looked exactly the same, minus the ‘please can we go home now’ look, plus dangerously-close-to-mullet hair and an acid-washed black jean trenchcoat.

    (Lest you think I’m mocking you, I should add that I was wearing an acid-washed black jean jacket in said picture. So we were none of us immune.)

    But seriously, what a cutiepie!

  10. Y’know how when you aren’t supposed to laugh, something is always funnier? So, I’m eating breakfast with the wife and twins and something that was said, for some unknown reason, made me think of these pictures in this post. Which, of course, made me think of teabagpiping – which, of course, made me then want to laugh out loud. Not wanting Mrs. K to ask what was so funny I decided not to laugh – which, of course, made it even harder and then I can feel the tears welling up from trying to hold it in, but I really don’t want to start crying because then she’ll think something’s wrong. Fortunately it only lasted a little while, but for a moment there it was pretty touch and go.

    Thanks Jonathan.

  11. Yeah, I’m really proud of the teabagpiping line. It wasn’t worth being raped by a Scotsman just to set up the joke, but I figure, if you’re gonna be raped by a Scotsman ANYWAY, why not have a little fun with it?

  12. I think your hair was and still is a lot like Dorothy Hamill’s.

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