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Now. How do I get my soul back?

February 4, 2008

As my friends are no doubt aware, I have been in the process of actively shopping my soul to any demon powerful enough to prevent a Patriots victory in the Superbowl.  Good news, friends, a deal was brokered in the 11th hour.

So now I’m faced with the conundrum of how to reclaim my soul.  I believe the devil to be like a spiritual pawn broker of sorts, so perhaps if I offered him two souls in exhange for my own, he’d see the inherent value and just give mine back.  So far, the best advice I’ve received involves contacting Charlie Daniels & asking that he bring his fiddle with me to the crossroads at midnight.

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5 comments

  1. Excellent work on that whole situation. Way to take one for the team! Not sure if I can help formulate a plan to get your soul back, but if you’d like to see what someone else in your predicament is like, try watching the Hallmark Channel tonight at 9pm, est.


  2. Good work. We’re pretty exciting over it hear in the New York area. That being said, I think that I might have to pull up the old Harry Potter thing. You could get the entire metropolis of Gotham to split their souls into sections and then you get a microsliver from each one. Their I’ve gotten your sould back. Tasty.


  3. So, Mr. Kinsley, on MY Hallmark Channel listings, I’m showing the following @ 9:00 EST.

    A Season for Miracles NR
    A woman (Carla Gugino) tries to save her sister’s (Laura Dern) children from foster care by taking them to a small town where she is mistaken for a missing heiress.

    I’m confused. In your analogy, am I the missing heiress, and the part of my soul is played by Laura Dern’s Children? Foster Care=Purgatory?

    Your story is confusing, but I do like the part where I am Carla Gugino, because ROWR, I would totally play with myself until my junk fell off. She’s hot, is all I’m saying.

    Also, Adam good thinking. I will get to work on the Horcruxes post haste.


  4. This is what was on.

    http://townhall.hillaryclinton.com/


  5. You could always start by going to church on Ash Wednesday with me tomorrow . . .



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