Do Not Borrow A Pen From MeFebruary 12, 2008
Sometimes the inside of my ear itches. Not a ton, but just a tiny bit. A while ago, like a year or so ago, I absentmindedly used the cap from a ballpoint pen to poke in my ear canal & scratch, which is totally gross, but felt awesome. In fact, it sort of made me realize how much I enjoyed poking in my ears with pen caps, like this whole world of adventurous ear based delight that I had previously been denying myself. Now that I can easily scratch the inside of my ears, I find that I want to scratch the inside of my ears way more often.
It worked out pretty well for a while, since the office manager at our work had purchased a TON of Bic “round stic” pens, little colored ballpoint pens with plastic caps. Unfortunately, a couple months ago, when it came time to resupply the office, she switched to the kind of capless pens that you click on top with your thumb & the pen point retracts. Those pens may be good for writing with, but clearly they suck ass when it comes to poking my ears.
As my own supply of pens dwindles, or the pen caps get lost, I’ve started going around to my co-workers & stealing their Bic round stics. It’s like an office version of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, and pen caps are like canned food supplies. I just hope none of them have been using their pens for equally unsavory purposes.