h1

Whore Diamonds: An Overview

March 12, 2008

So, despite my otherwise lavish lifestyle, I tend to do most of my whoring at the discount cathouse, which is why the Elliot Spitzer story is so fascinating to me.  Of all the news items leaked so far, this one is by far the most informative.  In it, on slide five you’ll see an overview of the pricing system in place at the former Emperor’s Club, the high-end whorehouse where Spitzer did his business.  Apparently the women were listed on their website with a number of diamonds under each image, and the diamonds corresponded to price:

Please note: one diamond & two diamond whores don’t even get to work at the Emperor’s Club.  That’s how you know you’re dealing with a classy establishment.

Three diamonds – $10,000/day

Four diamonds – $12,000/day

Five diamonds – $15,000/day

Six diamonds – $21,000/day

Seven diamonds – $31,000/day

My co-worker, upon reading the rates, said “I’d be inclined to masturbate & pocket the difference,” which does seem to be good financial advice.  My only question is, how bad must it suck to be the three diamond whore?  I mean, every day you go to work at a job in which you’re nothing but a hole for strangers to come in, and not only are you the worst, least desireable hole in the establishment, but that fact is broadcast on the internet for everyone to know.  “Perhaps sir would prefer to nail one of our discount models?  I’ll call Cindy.”  Along those same lines, I’d personally find it hard to reach orgasm with the three diamond whore.  I’d be too distracted wondering what the extra $21,000 would have bought me.  What kind of magical cooter must the seven diamond whore have, and when did she discover its value? By the way, if you’re wondering, “Kristen”, the woman who brought down Spitzer ,was in fact a three diamond whore, so either they can’t be THAT bad, or Spitzer is exceptionally frugal.  More on the topic here, if you’re interested.

Advertisements

7 comments

  1. Can’t….Stop….Laughing. Sharing this one with my coworkers.


  2. I bet the 3 diamond ones are the oldest. 🙂 Could be, right?


  3. I wonder what the ground rules are for the John who purchases a full day’s worth of company? Can you force her to go bowling? Could you make her garden?


  4. Uh Chuck, as whores go, I’m probably more of a one diamond variety, and frankly that diamond may be a cubic zirconia, but my offer to you is this: I will go bowling with you for a mere $3,100 a day, literally one tenth the price of the competition.


  5. Sold! Meet me at the Mayflower…errr, the Embassy Suites.


  6. Is “bowling” the new code word for broke backing?


  7. Hey ! Hey ! Watch the gay-bashing jokes here! (no, I’m not gay….not that there is anything wrong with that).



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: