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My dog is a gay ninja

April 15, 2008

For years now, I’ve mocked my Pug Oscar, on all kinds of fronts, from his tiny walnut sized brain to his effeminate mannerisms, going so far as to emasculate him on camera repeatedly:

Well, he may be stupid, and he may be effeminate, but no one can say he isn’t sneaky.  Yesterday as I was getting ready for work, he snuck out of the house, and wandered our neighborhood for hours.  Some friendly neighbors found him pawing at the fence that borders the not very developed government land at the border of our neighborhood, thankfully, and called us when they saw the flyers we put up.

What’s troubling is that I can’t understand why he would want to run away.  Oh wait, maybe it’s because of photos like this:

Hah!  Sucks to be you, gay dog.  Now you have to wear a collar every day!!

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16 comments

  1. Perhaps Oscar has a Man-gina?


  2. That would be my cat, Oatie. He had to have surgery to relieve a blocked urethra (common in cats, but fatal.) Unfortunately for him, they had to remove a portion of his urinary tract, including his manhood. I should have renamed him Buck Cherry.


  3. Ummm… because the lead singer of Buck Cherry has no penis?


  4. Well, there’s that, too. But I got that mixed up with Buck Angel. For his purposes, I think Buck Cherry works much better.


  5. I knew a girl that was in one of their videos “Crazy Bitch” – Topless no less.


  6. Better a gay ninja than a lesbian pirate.


  7. A gay ninja is still a ninja and would kill you before you knew you were dead. On the other hand, there is nothing hotter than a lesbian pirate, provided they actually look the way I’m imagining. The reality of the situation would probably be very disappointing.


  8. I’m not disappointed.


  9. I also have a love/hate with my cat. She is fat and lazy, and I hate her mostly because she’s so much like me. Could that be the problem with you and Oscar?


  10. You’re saying I’m a gay ninja?


  11. “I’m not disappointed.”

    Arrrr… I knew I could count on ye!


  12. With respect to jonson’s link to the photo of “Lesbian Pirate Hookers,” do you think they’re clever enough to come up with a title like “my sorted crew” for the photo gallery, or are they just so ignorant they think “sordid” is spelled “sorted?”

    My guess: it’s the latter.


  13. How the hell did I miss a link to Lesbian Pirates?


  14. who is he gay with… you


  15. you would know


  16. You’re an asshole



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