Thanks John McCain

April 21, 2008

I’ve decided to start excusing myself from any undesirable activity by citing McCain’s time in prison.  For example:

The Missus: Honey, the garbage trucks come tomorrow.

Me: Sweetheart, John McCain did not spend five years in a Vietnamese hellhole so that I would have to take out the trash.

It works; it’s universally applicable, and if you parse the meaning of the words, it’s 100% true.  I look forward to the McCain candidacy, and I anticipate poor jonson behavior not seen since 1996 (“Officer, Bob Dole did not have his right hand paralyzed by the krauts so that I would have to wear pants in public”).



  1. Well, you can’t strike comic gold on every post. BTW – John McCain didn’t almost DIE in a Viet-Cong prison so that I would have to hold my tongue. No he did not!

  2. Mr. Nelson to the white courtesy phone… paging Mr. Nelson. Please pick up the white courtesy phone.

  3. Oh, Patrick. Have I triggered your inner Republican with my insensitivity? John Kerry didn’t exaggerate the severity of his Vietnam injuries so that I could walk on eggshells!!

  4. Yes, a vote for Obama will erase all of our white guilt. After all, Oprah said it was the thing to do, and she DID build a school in South Africa.

  5. You’ve got it backwards, Mr Nelson, I’m not voting for Obama to erase my white guilt, I’m voting for him because I hate America.

  6. Oh, that’s right. I forgot. Not that I’m pleased with any of my choices; that is why I am, as of last week, no longer a registered republican.

  7. Um, actually, John McCain did die in a POW camp. i saw it on snopes. what you are seeing is a clever replica.

    Why isn’t the media playing up the Manchurian candidate theme? The donkeys have an ace up their sleeve, methinks.

  8. Thank you for deleting my profanity-laced tiraded. Next time, I will stop at two glasses of wine.

  9. wowsers – check this out:

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