Too Much Too SoonMay 7, 2008
As a parent & a geek & a former teenage boy, today’s Penny Arcade perfectly sums up my thinking on the ready availability of nudity that the internet has graced young teens with. This next story is kinda gross, but 100% true. As a 14 year old, if I wanted to see a naked woman, my best (only?) option was to ride my skateboard past the UCLA fraternity houses on the outskirts of Westwood & hope that they had thrown out a used copy of Hustler that I could sneak into the house. I probably only found two or three during my entire early adolesence, but they were like sacred relics, to be guarded & treasured & hidden & studied like the Rosetta Stone of vaginas, answering so many questions (“hey, a six is a like an upsidedown nine. I wonder if that’s why they call it that?”) while posing still others (“why are these pages stuck together?”).
When I was in 8th grade in England, the paper ran an article about the dancers at the Moulin Rouge in Paris, and actually printed a photo of the ladies all showering after a show, with as many as 5 (FIVE!!!) visible boobies all soaped up. I swear to you that I’m not joking when I tell you I stole that page of the paper & hid it in my room for the entire 8th grade year.
I adore my daughter & wouldn’t change a thing, but sometimes it’s not just that I’m happy I had a girl as much as that I’m relieved that I didn’t have a boy.