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I’ve seen some things, internet

May 16, 2008

Things that would make your hair curl.  But I don’t think I’ve seen something yet that disturbed me as much as this surgical video demonstrating the plasmablade on a corpse.  The plasmablade is to scalpels what light sabres are to sabres, cauterizing as it slices, with (miraculously) no smoking or charring of the flesh.  You should totally check out the video, especially if you’ve not yet had lunch.

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10 comments

  1. *sound of Ken puking*

    [Cue sad trombone sound.]


  2. I can alway count on you to find the most disgusting stuff. I really want a look at you ‘search’ history.

    Keep up the good work.


  3. I really wish our OBGYN would have had this thing during my wife’s c-section two weeks ago. I’ll bet she would have healed even faster, with less bruising.

    By the way, watching your wife get disemboweled, and then watching the surgeon pull your baby out like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat…priceless.


  4. Yeah, it’s astonishing to see. The cupcake was also airlifted from the factory, so to speak, and the highlight of the whole ordeal was seeing them take out organs & set them (still attached via their tubing) on the missus’ belly to make room to reach in & yank out the little one.

    Congrats on your recent arrival, macsimcon.


  5. See first comment.


  6. Thanks, jonson!

    I can honestly say that, while the smell of burning, singed flesh didn’t bother me, the plastic hose sucking blood-red goo out of her midsection for the better part of fifteen minutes was a little disconcerting.

    But not nearly as alarming as the globs of tissue from your wife’s abdominal cavity flying out to land on her abdomen.

    Sorry, what was that you were saying Mr. K?


  7. Y’know, I’ve been through the “airlift from the factory” myself (love that one Jonathan!) and I didn’t really have too many issues with it. Why? Three words: tall surgical curtain.


  8. Yeah they fooled me the first time.

    “Mr. Kelly, the baby is coming would you like to watch?”

    “Yeah, sure.”

    Stands up looks over curtain, just in time see al the things mentioned above and more.

    Actual transcript:

    “WHaT THE FUCK!”

    “REally?, no warning!”

    “Thanks!”


  9. Black Testicles
    A patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult
    four hour, surgical procedure.

    A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

    “Nurse,” he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?”

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

    He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”

    Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

    She raises his gown, gently takes his testicles in her hand lifting and moving them around.

    Then, she has a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir !!”

    The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and slowly says “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very
    closely…… “A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k ? “


  10. I’m not sure that is a true story.



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