The Future, Conan?

June 9, 2008

In 1992, I was on vacation with some friends, and I remember thinking how perfect it would be if I could hear a specific song from my music collection as I walked down a street in England.  The song was on a CD back in Los Angeles, so no luck.

Last night, as I was sitting in the living room, I thought about that story, and the song got caught in my head.  I could have walked into the computer room & listened to it, but just as easily, I launched the Soulseek client on my iphone, grabbed a copy of the song & played it.

It’s been 16 years since the England trip, but in that time we’ve seen the rise of the following technologies specific to this story:

  • The internet as a consumer service
  • DSL/High speed connections
  • MP3’s
  • ipods
  • The iphone
  • Peer to Peer file sharing networks
  • WiFi

16 years.  Think about the technology developed between 1950 & 1966.  I think they made a slightly faster electric typewriter & a way to make cigarettes taste minty, and that was it as far as inventing shit goes.  The pace of new inventions is so rapid now that between starting to write this entry & completing it a bunch of new inventions have probably come out that I need to learn how to use.

How our are kids going to be able to keep up with the burden of learning to use all this crap when they grow up?  When you grew up in the 16th century, you basically had to know how to tan leather or make shoes for horses or joust or be an idiot.  You picked one skill, mastered it, and you were good.  Each village had a leather tanner, a horseshoe maker, a jouster, a village idiot etc. 

These days, to even get a crappy job you have to know about computers & the internet & word processing software, etc.  By the time the cupcake is of employable age, she’ll probably need to know how to control nano fibers with her brain & realign the dilithium crystals in the jeffries tube in order to avoid purging the warp core.  And that’s for a fucking entry-level secretary job.  God help her if she goes into engineering.



  1. Dude,

    Where did you get this?: realign the dilithium crystals in the jeffries tube in order to avoid purging the warp core.


  2. BTW, the video game console was invented in 1966. I think. That is pretty significant.

  3. JK – how did you recognize his nerddom?

    Oh, wait, he just e-mailed me and explained it. LOL

  4. That whole “shoot a man off the planet thing” was definitely a close second to the cool and minty taste of a Newport.

  5. Dude, that was fake. On a soundstage just outside of Sherman Oaks.

  6. You know, just like Capricorn One. But not.

    Aren’t you conflating Star Treks there? I thought they only used the Jeffries tube in TOS, but they used the term “warp core” in STNG?

    Of course I’m only joking. Loser Trek-watching nerds!

  7. Jeffries tubes are named after the TOS art director, Matt Jeffries, the man who designed the original starship Enterprise, but they appear frequently in TNG & other versions of Star Trek.

    I mean, according to the Wikipedia that is. Nerds!

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