Archive for June 13th, 2008


What Harm Will Befall The City of Boston?

June 13, 2008

When the Patriots went 18-0 and then choked in the superbowl, it was all worth it to me.  The disaster of losing to a two-touchdown underdog in the biggest game of the year totally made up for all the good things they got out of the regular season (undefeated regular season, single season records for scoring, touchdowns thrown by Tom Brady, touchdowns caught by Randy Moss, yards received by Wes Welker, etc).  That they got caught cheating  was icing on the cake. It’s the loss at the end that made up for it.  Like Carbon Credits for douchebaggery, the loss absolved them of my hatred of them.

My point, and I have one, is that enough suffering by a fan base & I can move beyond my contempt for them and into a feeling of mercy, or perhaps just smug pity.  Which gets me wondering, what would need to happen to the sports fans of Boston in order for me to forgive them for beating the Lakers in the 2008 NBA championship? 

I suspect it will require something along the lines of a repeat of the Boston Molasses Disaster of 1919, only this time the only people to be drowned in the boiling hot molasses would be Celtics fans.  Not all of them, mind you, or else there’d be no one left for me to forgive.  Most of them.  The Celtics fans who moved to Boston as adults would be spared, but the last thing that lifelong townies would hear is the sweet rushing river of sticky hot death as it poured down their tiny, quaint cobblestone streets.


7 Songs

June 13, 2008

My friend Chris tagged me to continue a webmeme of sharing your 7 “heaviest rotation” songs, and while I normally don’t participate in blogmemes, I love talking about music.   The official instrx are: “List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

I’ll happily list the seven songs in my constant playlist, and open myself up to the (deserved) shame that comes with them, but I break the meme in that I won’t tag seven other bloggers to continue the party, as I couldn’t take the rejection if they refused my tagging. Little known jonsonfact: I’m super sensitive.

First, Lily Allen’s cover of The Pretender’s Don’t Get Me Wrong. It’s not great or anything, and I don’t really like the original that much. I just love Lily Allen so much it verges on stalking. Seriously, if I had a Trapper Keeper notebook, the outside of it would be covered with hearts and written in each heart would be Lily Allen-Rouse Jonathan Allen.

Track Two is The Ting Ting’s Great DJ. Some people might not like this one, but that’s only because some people are idiots. This song is awesome.

Breaking the chick singer trend, the next track is Lord I’m Discouraged, off the new Hold Steady album due out in July (But it’s June – how do I have the song? I’M FROM THE FUTURE). I’m a sucker for songs about lost causes & women who can’t help themselves.

Track Four is Evil Bee, by Menomena. It’s not new or anything, but I fucking love this song. Mostly because of the video, so here that is:

Track Five is Ballantines, by Aimee Mann.  About the only track I like on her disappointing new album.  I mostly like the weird background vocals, which are sung by “San Francisco Songwriter Sean Hayes,” who is apparently not the same Sean Hayes that starred on Will & Grace.

Track Six is If I ever leave this world alive by Flogging Molly.  I recently went on a run of watching every episode of Weeds, which I hadn’t seen before, and really liked, which led me to get the soundtrack, which this is from.  It’s not as stomping & loud as the usual Flogging Molly or Dropkick Murphys or other drunken Irish Pogue-wannabees, but it’s not bad.

We’ll close with A&E by Goldfrapp.  It’s not as sexy/poppy as her last album nor as ethereal as her earlier stuff, but it’s still incredibly catchy, and the video is pretty awesome too: