Archive for August, 2008


Manifest Destiny

August 30, 2008

For a few years in the mid 90’s I lived in D.C. doing non-profit fundraiser work for liberal causes (I was building up a smug allowance that my several years in for-profit marketing have completely eroded).  While there, I fell in love with a little burger joint called Five Guys Burger & Fries.  At the time, there were three locations, although when I moved back to L.A., the chain had grown to six.

On a whim, I looked ’em up on the web, and to my surprise found that they’ve spread like a vine, including moving as far as West as Southern California.  Hello lunch this Sunday.  Time to see if the little quirks about the place survived the Westward expansion.  Things that summed up the ambiance:

  • No seats, counter only
  • A sign informing you where today’s potatoes came from (they had amazingly good peanut oil fries)
  • Giant barrels of roasted-in-the-shell peanuts for you to snack on as you waited for your food to be cooked (everything cooked to order, of course)
  • Minimal decor, including a signboard, paper & pens for guests to scribble up nonsense, like how far they had traveled to eat at Five Guys that day, etc.

I suspect not everything will have survived the transition, but hopefully the burgers & fries still taste great.  In Arlington, there wasn’t really any competition other than fast food franchises, which is no competition at all.  Out here, we have the world’s best hamburger joints, in no short supply.  Still, you can never have enough great burger places.


links for 2008-08-30

August 30, 2008

links for 2008-08-24

August 24, 2008

The Invisible Man

August 23, 2008

My dominance of the Google searches for “Jonathan Rouse” is well documented.  I believe the NY Times published a three part essay on the subject last fall.  However, lost amid all the acclaim I’ve received for promoting the jonsonblog at the expense of other people foolish enough to try and share my spotlight by being named Jonathan Rouse is the fact that my dominance of the front page of Google is nearly a complete inverse of my absence from the Google Image search.

Sure, the first image result when you search for Jonathan Rouse is something I’m responsible for – an old WWII propaganda/training manual I scanned & a friend posted online.  But that’s not really what I look like at all.

In fact, when you get to the “people’s faces” portion of the results, there are 12 or so different people/urls on the front page of the search results, and none of them are me.  Now, I’ll be the first to admit that my handsomness shouldn’t be diluted by the mass media, but seriously, zero pictures of me on the internet?  WTF, Internet?  Am I some monster that you must keep from public view?

Truth of the matter is, I don’t really mind the anonymity, visually, but I DO regret the fact that someone unaquainted with my handsomeness will image search me & see this collection of misfits.  Frankly speaking, none of you other Jonathan Rouses are setting the world on fire with your sexy looks.


Tough Luck, Midgets!!

August 22, 2008

Hmmm.  I was perusing a bunch of drafts of Jonsonblog posts that I had started & then abandoned, but WordPress saved the post for me in a Drafts folder, apparently.

Most of them are useless, and their moment has passed, so I blitzed them.  But this one survived, largely due to the mystery surrounding it.  There was no article, just the headline “Tough Luck, Midgets”.  I don’t remember starting or abandoning this post, and I have no idea what I was going to write here.

I’m pretty sure whatever it was, it would not have lived up to my subject line.


Schizophrenic Cats

August 22, 2008

Louis Wain’s famous descent into schizophrenia as documented via his paintings raises an interesting question: what’s the blogger’s analogue?  Would anyone notice a blogger slowly going insane from his postings?

So that we’re clear, this isn’t some desperate cry for help. I’m pretty sure I’m not going insane or anything.  But nowdays, with Flickr/Twitter/Facebook/Blogs/etc, the chains of community are strong enough that it had me thinking, there are a LOT of outlets for people to notice if something suddenly changed in your personality, provided you’d established the social network in the first place.

If I was a little more clever/bored, I would start just adding random quirks into my writing.  Unfortunately, they’d probably be about stuff like getting raped by a bear, and then, who would ever notice?


Fuck. Yes.

August 22, 2008

As you all know, my birthday is Nov 27th, otherwise known as Jimi Hendrix’s birthday, or Bruce Lee’s birthday, etc.  But this year, it’ll be known as something way more awesome.

No, not Thanksgiving, although it is indeed Thanksgiving on my birthday (yay longest secular holiday of the year in my honor!).  No, this year, Nov 27th will be known as “two days after The Hold Steady come back to play the Wiltern.”

To celebrate my birthday while still allowing the band to see their families for the holidays, The Hold Steady are playing on the Tuesday right before my birthday, which is both considerate & awesome.

I enjoy going to their concerts because I spend the entire rest of the year surrounded by people who hate their music, and the experience of being at a show is unlike any other band I enjoy, even someone like Neil Finn or Crowded House, where my enjoyment of the band gets me mocked.  The Hold Steady are actually actively disliked by pretty much everyone I play their music to, and then you walk through the doors of the concert hall & it’s like stepping into a different country.

Suck it haters, me & the band are going to celebrate my birthday.


Axis of Spam

August 18, 2008

I’ve been getting (a LOT of) Russian spam for a while now, but the asian (Japanese?) spam at the bottom of my inbox is a new treat. Goodbye Viagra, hello ground up tiger penis!!

(If you have trouble viewing, click the image to see the larger version)


Drinking At Work: Is It Time To Start?

August 10, 2008

Don’t let the title mislead you, I’ve been drinking at work for years.  But this is managed drinking, where I go to lunch once every few weeks & have a couple margaritas (okay, strawberry margaritas.  What can I say, I drink like a sorority girl).  This is not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about buying a bottle of wine, & having at my desk every day all day, and finishing it every day.  I realize, it’s the wine talking (cause yes, I’ve had some of it tonight), but I feel WAY more competent & attractive when I’ve been drinking, & it seems like it could only help my work product if I felt this way every day.  I’d be nicer to my co-workers (and let’s face it, they deserve a break from sober Jonson after all these years), I’d deliver a better (or at least more interesting) product to my clients, and I’d be better looking for everyone who looked at me.  Plus funnier.

I’m thinking I need to find a good 10 dollar or so wine and just make that the daily bottle.  Bring it in, keep a glass at the desk, and spend my days more cordially.  I wonder how long I could pull this off before someone at work actually mentioned it to me. “So… about your drinking….”


Christ I Hate This Jackass

August 8, 2008