Daddy, Why Does Your Junk Look Different?

August 6, 2008

While I’m not a nudist, I do sleep nekkid, and in the mornings prior to hopping in the shower I wander the house au naturel for some few minutes.  This was never a problem prior to the arrival of the LBC, but now that she’s here, it’s raising an interesting issue.

I’m far too lazy to maintain an active “grooming” schedule with regard to my pubic hair.  I don’t really pay enough attention to it, and left to its own devices, it’s a little like a caricature of Howard Stern, or perhaps the Congo before deforestation.

Once a year, however, I’ll attack the problem with vigor, clearing out the mess & leaving me shorn & itchy as a lamb.  This isn’t usually an issue, as the missus is the only one to see my goods these days, and after a brief exclamation of “Jesus what happened to your crotch!?!” we’re all on the same page.

But I’m honestly a little terrified to make a drastic change down there now that my daughter’s wandering around.  I don’t like to think of her & my penis in the same day, let alone the same sentence, which is tough because I think of my penis pretty much all the time.  Couldn’t stop if I tried.  But I super extra special don’t want to think about my daughter being confused that my penis looks radically different.

I can go one of two ways with this: Option 1, ignore the issue and let my junk slowly get swallowed up by the encroaching forest of curly doom.  Or Option 2, trim in tiny, tiny amounts, so that the change happens so slowly no one notices, especially no one under the age of 3.

I’m not sure which option will win out, but I know you guys are probably pretty fascinated with this whole decision process, so I’ll be sure to post follow ups when I reach a conclusion.



  1. First!

  2. Wow, this is a tough choice.

    I am curious, I too sleep in the nude and have a 3 year old that comes into our room early in the morning and tries to climb in bed with us. He is going through potty training, so it’s important the first thing we do when he wakes up is take him to the potty. My problem is, I have this tremendous morning wood that would slap him up side the head if I wasn’t careful. So I have to wrestle to get shorts on just for the quick trip to the potty.

    BTW, you should use clippers. Much more efficient. tell her it all fell out. You put it on her Barbie’s head.

  3. Please excuse me while Dr. Edgemar and the Rekall staff erase my memory of reading this post.

  4. Don’t start pretending you don’t want to hear about my pubic hair!!!

    Posts like this are going to be behind the “paid content” section of Jonsonblog when I go pro with this gig.

  5. Oh Chuck, if only that were possible.

  6. Just tell her that Swiper the sneaky fox swiped all of your short and curlies.

  7. Since when does n8rr8rr participate in this forum of debate? I for one vote that you say it’s your crown. And you have a biiiig crown b/c you’re king!

  8. He will NOT be having any sort of conversation with LBC about this. He will be in boxers 24/7 from now on.

  9. Now that I will likely see you at the Kinsley 40th, I can only thing of your knick-name at “shorn & itchy”.

    I think your post gave me crabs.

  10. Ummm… isn’t the Kinsley 40th a surprise party? I mean – wait – WHAT Kinsley 40th?

  11. If it is a suprise, I blew that one a LONG time age. Oops.

  12. Jonson, I am afraid that after reading this – and of course being drawn back to it by so many comments (WTH?) – I am scared.

    I don’t know what I am scared of – just kinda scared.

  13. WHAT?!!? I’m turning 40?! Jonson has tons of pubic hair?!?!? Crabs??!? Swiper?!? Too… much… shocking… info…

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