Archive for November 12th, 2008

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No One Thinks The Same As I Do

November 12, 2008

I love the Chinese dumpling known as Bao, essentially a savory steamed dough stuffed with minced barbecued pork.  I described it as a Pork Donut recently, and was met with skepticism.  Sadly, a googling of the phrase “pork donut” and “bao” next to each other yields only four results on the entire internet, with one of them being from the other time I wrote about Bao on the jonsonblog.

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Instant Messaging Between Men

November 12, 2008

namewitheld: tell nate I had my sack inspected yesterday. 12/11 is snippy time

Jonathan: Damn!
I will have the last two working nuts among the six of our gonads
You should have them only snip ONE of the tubes, so it’s like Russian Roulette with your orgasms
You never know if the chamber is loaded or not

namewitheld: wait. do they have to snip both?  ask nate

Jonathan: yeah, Nate said 1) I’m an idiot, and 2) that’s not how it works
Apparently there IS no 50% snip, it’s an all or nothing deal

namewitheld: so did he have 2 incisions?

Jonathan: I don’t know. I’ll ask
he says just the one incision

namewitheld: that’s what I thought. Good. I also ordered a valium for the big day

Jonathan: once they’re in there, they just go to town, apparently
It’s like, one entry, but then they go pruning away like drunken gardeners
It’s like a dance party for skinheads taking place in your nutsack.
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If you had told me

November 12, 2008


that the greatest film ever made would star Stephen Baldwin, I would have said “Usual Suspects was good, but it wasn’t the Greatest Film Ever Made.”

And then I would have seen this, the trailer for Sharks In Venice, and I would have understood completely. As the lone review on IMDB puts it, “A combination of Jaws, meets Godfather meets Indiana Jones.”