The lies we tellNovember 13, 2008
It’s a given that any future looking promises you make in the early stages of a relationship are open to be complete lies geared towards making yourself more appealing for the prospect of long term dating. For example, on our first date, the missus & I went on a nature hike, and I said “I love nature hikes,” which is an absolute bald-faced lie. Nature hikes are America’s leading cause of bear attack, as has been well documented.
For her part, the missus mentioned (on that same hike) that she “loved Basketball.” Over the years, this statement has been amended down to “well, Laker basketball,” then “well, during the playoffs” and finally “back in the 1980s when Magic Johnson was on the team.”
The final amendment to the missus’ devout love of the NBA came last night in the following exchange. Two bits of foreknowledge are required. First, there’s a Chinese restaurant in downtown L.A. called Yang Chow, and the missus & I love it. Second, there’s a 7’6″ Chinese basketball player named Yao Ming who is the center for the Houston Rockets. Last night, as we’re watching the highlights from a Rockets/Suns matchup on ESPN:
The Missus: Do you think Yang Chow is ever going to be as bulky as Shaq?
Me: [Stunned pause] WHO? You mean Yao Ming?
The Missus: Oh shit. Don’t put that on your blog, I will look racist.