The lies we tell

November 13, 2008

It’s a given that any future looking promises you make in the early stages of a relationship are open to be complete lies geared towards making yourself more appealing for the prospect of long term dating.  For example, on our first date, the missus & I went on a nature hike, and I said “I love nature hikes,” which is an absolute bald-faced lie.  Nature hikes are America’s leading cause of bear attack, as has been well documented.

For her part, the missus mentioned (on that same hike) that she “loved Basketball.”  Over the years, this statement has been amended down to “well, Laker basketball,” then “well, during the playoffs” and finally “back in the 1980s when Magic Johnson was on the team.”

The final amendment to the missus’ devout love of the NBA came last night in the following exchange.  Two bits of foreknowledge are required.  First, there’s a Chinese restaurant in downtown L.A. called Yang Chow, and the missus & I love it.  Second, there’s a 7’6″ Chinese basketball player named Yao Ming who is the center for the Houston Rockets.  Last night, as we’re watching the highlights from a Rockets/Suns matchup on ESPN:

The Missus: Do you think Yang Chow is ever going to be as bulky as Shaq?

Me: [Stunned pause] WHO? You mean Yao Ming?

The Missus: Oh shit.  Don’t put that on your blog, I will look racist.



  1. First, I was hungry and thinking how we should have gone to Yang Chow for dinner. Second, I was only half paying attention to the TV when I formulated my question – my two thoughts just collided in my head and that’s how it came out.

    p.s. No birthday present for you!

  2. Let me go entirely off subject and share a story with you, Jonson, and Mr. K, because I know you have a love for classic and progressive rock.

    Late Tuesday evening on a business trip to Portland, OR., three of my colleagues and our boss shared a nice dinner and some cigars at El Gaucho restaurant in Downtown Portland at the Benson Hotel off Broadway. Dinner ended around midnight, and we hit the local brewpubs around that time, Wednesday, VERY early morning. We closed down Rogue Brewery in the Pearl district around 2:30 am, and then proceeded to head back to the Benson hotel, arriving there at around 2:50 am to ask the valet to call us a cab to go to our much lower class hotel. Just around that time, and ambulance shows up. Not thinking to much of it, we proceeded to get into our cab.

    Then, I get this story emailed to me.


    How strange. The last remaining artist of one of the greatest bands to never reach their full potential. Sad.

  3. That’s cool & all, but you can just email me & mr kinsley these kinds of things, you know.

  4. Noted. Thank you.

  5. “That’s cool & all, but you can just email me & mr kinsley these kinds of things, you know.”

    This totally makes you look racist.

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