America’s First Jewish President

January 15, 2009

I think this is the longest pause between posts in the (increasingly not-so) brief history of the jblog.  I wish I had a better excuse, but the gospel truth is that nothing remotely funny has occurred to me in the last two weeks or so.  Or more to the point, the funny things that have happened all fail to translate into an amusing post.  Worse yet, in a quick glance at my upcoming schedule, nothing particularly interesting is even scheduled to occur.  I need to witness a mugging, or get mugged or perhaps just take the initiative & mug someone myself.

One thing that did occur to me earlier today, with the innauguration less than one week away – I was thinking about all the badness that occurred under President Voldemort, and what things would have been like had the rightfully elected man been sworn in in 2000.  I expect after 8 years of benevolent & thoughtful leadership, he’d be endorsing his veep (Joe Lieberman, Judas-Democrat) for the highest office in the land.  With the environmentalists AND the secret conspiracy that controls all the world’s financial systems supporting him, the Lieberman ticket would have doubtless coasted to victory & next week’s swearing in would be even more unlikely.  After all, there are about 8X as many African Americans as there are Jews in this country.

In honor of this alternate history timeline, I am going to eat some delicious latkes this weekend, once I find a deli in Los Angeles that has any idea how to make them.  For some reason, homemade latkes are delicious, but every restaurant one I’ve ever had tasted like hash browns arranged in a circle.


  1. For some reason homemade latkes are delicious? What do you suppose that reason is? You’d better start posting here more often, your sentence structure skills are starting to rot….and you know what they say about the sentence structure skills being the first to go.

  2. Jerry’s Deli?

  3. 1) Marianne, you’re right, between the lack of commenting on loafe, leaving metafilter & cutting back on jonsonblog posts, my writing is regressing like… like something that is not as good as it was at an earlier time.

    2) Derek, if you think Jerry’s Deli is good you probably haven’t had homemade latkes. I’ve tried them at Langer’s, Jerry’s, even ancient Fromin’s on Wilshire, and they’re all similar to the McDonald’s hashbrown cakes.

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