Archive for January 13th, 2010


My New (Various Shades of) Pink Button

January 13, 2010

My New Pink Button is one of those products that solves a problem I wasn’t aware existed.  For those who have wisely learned not to click on links I put up here, I’ll elaborate.  It’s essentially a spackle for the external parts of the female genitalia that serves to “pink up” the overall area for a limited time.

Not only did I not realize there was a market for snatch paint, but apparently it’s got multiple market segments.  The products page lists four different colors, adorably named after famous sex & glamor icons of the 20th century.  There’s the Marilyn, the Bettie (Page), the Ginger (from Giligan’s Island?) and the Audry, which I can only assume is a misspelling of the first name of Audrey Hepburn.

Being a boy, I like naked women.   But in all my time of thinking about Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Page or Ginger from Gilligan’s Island, I never once wondered what color their labia were.  And as lovely as she is, I certainly never watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s and wondered what color Audrey Hepburns’ clitoris was.  In fact, I wonder how you arrive at those names in particular.  I wish I could have been in the naming brainstorming session where they reviewed & rejected options.  I wonder what would have been the least popular name they could have come up with for a tone of Pink Snapper (that, by the way, is what I would have called the product if they had asked me).  I bet Janet Reno color, or possibly Mother Theresa.