My New (Various Shades of) Pink Button

January 13, 2010

My New Pink Button is one of those products that solves a problem I wasn’t aware existed.  For those who have wisely learned not to click on links I put up here, I’ll elaborate.  It’s essentially a spackle for the external parts of the female genitalia that serves to “pink up” the overall area for a limited time.

Not only did I not realize there was a market for snatch paint, but apparently it’s got multiple market segments.  The products page lists four different colors, adorably named after famous sex & glamor icons of the 20th century.  There’s the Marilyn, the Bettie (Page), the Ginger (from Giligan’s Island?) and the Audry, which I can only assume is a misspelling of the first name of Audrey Hepburn.

Being a boy, I like naked women.   But in all my time of thinking about Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Page or Ginger from Gilligan’s Island, I never once wondered what color their labia were.  And as lovely as she is, I certainly never watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s and wondered what color Audrey Hepburns’ clitoris was.  In fact, I wonder how you arrive at those names in particular.  I wish I could have been in the naming brainstorming session where they reviewed & rejected options.  I wonder what would have been the least popular name they could have come up with for a tone of Pink Snapper (that, by the way, is what I would have called the product if they had asked me).  I bet Janet Reno color, or possibly Mother Theresa.


  1. (Slow clap) – Come one everyone. He is back!

    Now just like many times before, I ask myself, “WTF was he looking for when he found this?”

    For got how much I missed you man!

  2. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are back. Glad the urge to be inappropriately funny has won out over your lame desire to be more professional.

  3. Could have been the misspelling of “all dry”.

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