Archive for January 21st, 2010


Shh! Don’t Wake John Hughes!

January 21, 2010

I generally like Death Cab for Cutie, and I generally like Simple Mind’s Don’t You Forget About Me, and yet, this cover version of that  song by that band is so lifeless & disinterested.  Even though Zooey Deschanel’s husband claims they performed it to honor John Hughes, it seems more like they thought he wasn’t dead, but rather just sleeping, and they were afraid of waking him up.  Lame, Death Cab.  LAME.


When Did I Become This Way

January 21, 2010

I used to pride myself on my “non-average guyness.” I didn’t drink, watch sports, know about cars, play poker, basically everything guys are good at, I seemed to avoid.

I had a couple areas of overlap with traditional guy roles – I was good with technology, and I liked violent movies, and of course boobs, but over the years, there’s been a creeping “guyism” in my personality, and now all I talk about is sports, guy movies, videogames, and of course, boobs.  It’s like the jocks who run Spike TV snuck into my house and put something in the water.

I don’t really know how to combat it, or even if I want to.  I’m much more comfortable always having conversational touchstones with people at every party.  It’s such a convenient shorthand:

2010 Jonson Party Conversation:

Stranger: Did you see Nate Kaeding miss 3 field goals in Sunday’s Chargers game?

Jonson: Yeah, I heard he tried to hang himself afterwards in shame, but he failed to kick the chair out from under himself.

Stranger: Awesome.  High five!

1995 Jonson Party Conversation:

Stranger: Can you believe Michael Jordan dropped 55 on the Knicks last night?

Jonson: The illuminati believe that 55 is a number with deep significance in historic events.

Stranger: I’m going to go stand over there for a while.

1989 Jonson Party Conversation:

Just kidding.  I wasn’t invited to many parties in high school.