When Did I Become This WayJanuary 21, 2010
I used to pride myself on my “non-average guyness.” I didn’t drink, watch sports, know about cars, play poker, basically everything guys are good at, I seemed to avoid.
I had a couple areas of overlap with traditional guy roles – I was good with technology, and I liked violent movies, and of course boobs, but over the years, there’s been a creeping “guyism” in my personality, and now all I talk about is sports, guy movies, videogames, and of course, boobs. It’s like the jocks who run Spike TV snuck into my house and put something in the water.
I don’t really know how to combat it, or even if I want to. I’m much more comfortable always having conversational touchstones with people at every party. It’s such a convenient shorthand:
2010 Jonson Party Conversation:
Stranger: Did you see Nate Kaeding miss 3 field goals in Sunday’s Chargers game?
Jonson: Yeah, I heard he tried to hang himself afterwards in shame, but he failed to kick the chair out from under himself.
Stranger: Awesome. High five!
1995 Jonson Party Conversation:
Stranger: Can you believe Michael Jordan dropped 55 on the Knicks last night?
Jonson: The illuminati believe that 55 is a number with deep significance in historic events.
Stranger: I’m going to go stand over there for a while.
1989 Jonson Party Conversation:
Just kidding. I wasn’t invited to many parties in high school.