Sabotage!February 13, 2010
The house next door to mine (the haunted one) is for sale, some three years after both the occupants passed away inside it. It’s been abandoned ever since, tended to by a charity that the former owners left it to. Finally in the mood to sell, they’re offering it for $150K less than I paid for my house, or $400K less than a similar house one street up from us just went for.
I’m eager to have the house occupied, preferably by someone with a daughter the same age as the cupcake, but I’m not eager to see the value of my house drop by a couple hundred grand. Towards that end every time I see prospective owners go in, I’ve adopted a strategy of standing in front of the place like the crazy old man from Friday the 13th (whom YouTube has informed me is named Ralph), and warning buyers that the place is haunted by a greek ghost who will kill anyone who pays less than $1,000,000 for the place.
Later, as they’re inside, I send in Emma wearing a white sheet over her head and yelling Boogie Boogie Boogie through the place before running in to the back yard and through a hole I cut in the fence between our property.