Modern Warfare Makes Strange Bedfellows

March 25, 2010

I tend not to play online videogames very much for the same reason I don’t surround myself with mirrors when I masturbate.  If I’m going to do something embarrassing, I don’t want it pointed out to me constantly, and that’s what happens when I game online.  From the moment I connect, I’m crushed by a wave of tweener mouthbreathers shouting racial & sexual epithets at each other for the duration of the session.

It’s not so much the racism/homophobia I mind, it’s the constant reminder that I’m playing against (and usually losing to) a bunch of children.  Fortunately, I can hit the mute button and ignore 95% of the bullshit.  The other 5% comes from the online IDs of my fellow sixth graders, which are frequently rife with misspellings like “SLIENT KILLA” or “JOO_OVEN_MASTA.”

Playing a couple of days ago I ran into an awesome screen name twofer, as the following couple were both on the same team:


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