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1.5 things that made me cry

August 25, 2016

It hurts to talk, so I tend to whisper/rasp when I’m speaking. I just had to explain to Dylan that we missed his preschool friend’s party which Dylan had been looking forward to no shit for six fucking months because his retarded friend started talking about it in fucking February because he was so excited even though the party wasn’t until this last weekend. Anyway, I just had to explain to Dylan that we missed his friend’s awesome Dragon Party “because of Daddy’s cancer” which almost made cry hearing my mouth say those words.

But then an hour later I decided to force myself to try and drink again and I was able to sip huge gulpfuls of water into my fucking mouth and swallow them like a normal human being. This wasn’t an incremental improvement, it was a milestone, I could swallow again suddenly, like a person who doesn’t get fed through a fucking straw. And that completely made me cry. I can drink water. Enough water to live. And it’s not terrifying or panic inducing.

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