FairnessAugust 30, 2016
When my good friend survived a very serious diagnosis of colon cancer, I asked him if they cut out enough of his colon that if I sodomized him I’d be able to see my penis distending his belly with every thrust. I told him that that was all I’d ever wanted, to pretend like I was fucking John Hurt in Alien right before the Alien pops out of his stomach and that my penis was the baby Alien.
So, when people ask “wow, you’re so young to get cancer, and you didn’t smoke or anything, do you feel like it’s unfair?” I think, “no. This seems about right.”